Springtime for Hitler: 2024

A White Christian Nationalist's Spring To-Do List & Day Planner

Feb. 2 - Apologize to Rep. Tracey Mann, R-Kansas, for missing the National Prayer Breakfast, which was held for the first time in the U.S. Capitol building’s Statuary Hall. I was "intermittent fasting" that day. Wish I'd been there, though - wanted to retrieve the can of bear spray I left in the bathroom on Jan. 6.

Feb. 6 - Tuesday Bible Study: Were Moabites really Aryans or a mixed race?

Feb. 11 - Research biblical loopholes for skipping church on Super Bowl Sunday. Work on Super Bowl-themed AI generated image of nude Taylor Swift wrapped in cellophane.

Feb. 14 - Remember to get Valentine's Day flowers for wife. Encourage her to read The Total Woman again, especially that part about greeting husband while wrapped in cellophane.

Feb. 20 - Tuesday Bible Study: Humility - Christian virtue or dangerous loser strategy?

Feb. 22 - Gather militia brothers for pre-Purim synagogue graffiti party.

March 1 - Travel to Texas for seminar with Wall Builders founder David Barton. (Question - Was America mentioned in Scripture, and if not, why not?)

March 5 - Quarterly reloading and ammo and equipment check at lodge hall. Remember to encrypt the inventory list this time.

March 11 - Spring Break. Take kids to Disney World for a week of demonstration against 'woke" animated characters.

March 15 - Work on AI generated image of now-uncopyrighted Mickey Mouse wrapped in cellophane.

March 19 - Tuesday Bible Study: Philistines - An evil enemy or just got a bad rap?

March 21-29 - Spring convoy down to Arizona to "help" Border Patrol guard our borders and pick off immigrant stragglers when they're not looking. (Remember to call and stop delivery of The Daily Stormer for that week)

March 31 - Easter Sunday. Celebrate resurrection of Christ and the rolling away the government-mandated stone from the grave.

April 8 - Gift wrap NeoNazi “Kekistan” Unite the Right Flag for House Speaker Mike Johnson to join his "Appeal to Heaven" Revolutionary War flag placed outside his office. Reports say that flag symbolizes "a die-hard vision of a hegemonically Christian America." Suggest he display ours, too, and include a veiled threat.

April 9 - Tuesday Bible Study: Squaring the Circle - White grievances reconciled with Jesus' Beatitudes in Matthew 5.

April 15 - Tax Day? Since Jesus said "Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and to God what belongs to God," and since Caesar isn't around anymore, and God doesn't have a bank account...I don’t think so.

April 25 - Annual Day at the Park for our traditional friendly charity tug-of-war contest with Antifa. Bring blackjacks and bats.

May 1 - Meet with Lance Wallnau of the New Apostolic Reformation. Need to create new, eighth "mountain of influence" just for us to have dominion over. Something like, maybe, illegal drug distribution?

May 3 - Drop by Bobby’s school library to demand they pull Horton Hears a Who. Because a person’s NOT always a person no matter how small.

May 5 - Attend choir practice to wage "sonic, musicospiritual warfare" against the Great Babylon, the harlot over many waters and her nefarious conspiracies. Donuts and coffee afterward.