Review: ‘Gaslighting for God’ by Becky Garrison
‘These Aren’t the Droids You’re Looking For’
Becky Garrison has had it up to here with authority figures who “gaslight” their followers.
And by “here” I mean up way past her eyeballs.
Garrison has been a long-time contributor to The Wittenburg Door over the years (and currently a board member), and she has authored seven previous books, including “Red and Blue God, Black and Blue Church” and “Jesus Died for This?: A Religious Satirist’s Search for the Risen Christ.” Her freelance reporting has covered everything from secular spiritual communities to the food/spirits and cannabis culture in the Pacific Northwest.
Her latest book “Gaslighting for God” looks specifically at church leaders, spiritual gurus and other “men of God” who take advantage of their power positions while hiding behind a seemingly pious, calm and charming veneer.
If you haven’t noticed, gaslighting is the stuff we swim in these days. From high political office to perhaps your own boss, pastor or partner, it’s everywhere.
Ever had your boss tell you, “No, we never agreed to that salary increase after six months. You know that.”
We’re at a particular hinge point in history in which we can not only be gaslit by humans but also by AI avatars who will spew out information that seems solid, but later admit that they lied. In the jargon of Artificial Intelligences, that’s called a “hallucination.” But human manipulators have no such excuse.
The term “gaslighting” traces from the plot of a 1944 film, the psychological thriller “Gaslight.” In the movie, Charles Boyer slowly manipulates his wife, played by Ingrid Bergman, into believing she is going crazy.
Here’s the dictionary definition - or at least the one regurgitated by ChatGPT: “Gaslighting - The psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality or memories, and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability and a dependency on the perpetrator.”
Garrison throws another term into the mix almost immediately - narcissism. In fact, the book’s subtitle is, “A Satirical Guide to Save Yourself from Spiritual Narcissists.”
Society seems to be increasingly aligning to pave the way for narcissists. Tools like AI, and social media extend the reach of narcissists, even while other forces grow to counter it - the Me-Too Movement for instance.
“I realized I needed to heal from the aftereffects of being raised in a family chock-full of both alcoholic and narcissistic traits,” Garrison explains. “Determined to break this cycle once and for all, in 2016 I began my foray into clinical research on the topic. ”
Garrison’s research uncovered a lot. She found that gaslighting is just one of the tools in the narcissistic playbook. Others include “charm, condescension, deliberate forgetfulness, feigning intimacy, flattery, guilt-tripping, indirect insults, insinuations, minimization, rage, rationalization, and vacuous statements.”
In the book, she runs through a veritable rogues gallery of narcissistic and uncaring church leaders, many of whom she interviewed over the years. There’s even a special appendix about Mark Driscoll and his Mars Hill Church in Seattle, which has been described as “deeply dysfunctional.” Driscoll and his “Emerging Church” movement sprang from the Young Leaders Network (YLN) in the 1990s.
“Almost from the start,” Garrison says, “YLN morphed into Yelling Loud Narcissists by throwing down their theological smack, with Driscoll cussin’ up a Calvinist streak as the more postmodernist posse countered with their deconstructionist drivel . Think of these pastoral punks as the Religious Ramones, replete with a battle of the bands that would rival any rockumentary—though, as is the case with 99.666% of Christian bands, they pale in comparison to their secular counterparts.”
But not all spiritual leaders are narcissistic monsters. She heaps praise on the Manhattan-based St. Bart’s Episcopal Church and its minister, the late Rev. Judith T. Baumer, “Here I experienced a spiritual community that literally saved me. Without their support, I’m fairly certain I’d be pushing daisies by now.”
Garrison describes the book as “a handy guide to identify spiritual narcissism in our midst (and not just the famous ones), as well as obtain the tools to not only survive but thrive when confronting these destructive energies.”
Reading the book, I felt she needed only about half the words she was using. But then she would pop out a phrase like “The pastor went Baal-istic” or “You Go, Guru!” that made me laugh.
Besides the quantity and quality of information she uncovers in the book about narcissism and gaslighting, I was intrigued by the openness she displays in revealing herself and how various narcissists affected her over the years.
At the end of the movie “Gaslight,” Ingrid Bergman has a final confrontation with the manipulator husband, while he is tied to a chair. The tables are turned, as she lets him think she is searching his desk for an imaginary knife to cut him free.
Perhaps this book is Garrison’s attempt at a final confrontation with the manipulators and gaslighters in her life; a catharsis she might never get a chance to have in real life.
In extracting herself from the quicksand of victimhood and squarely facing the gaslighting ghosts from her past, Becky Garrison makes this book more than merely a warning or a list of narcissists to avoid.
She’s been digging out from underneath a suffocating mound of lies to find herself.
The book acts as Becky Garrison’s exodus from bondage.
Here is a link to the book: https://www.lakedrivebooks.com/books/gaslighting-for-god/