Disclaimer

02/10/2008


Disclaimer

If you experience a gagging reflex, episodes of rage or prolonged self-pity; if you experience a sudden decrease of irony or a dead certainty about your beliefs, consult with your minister, guru or spiritual practitioner immediately. The Door is not advised for Pharisees, Fundies, High Church Whiskeypalians or those who have experienced a recent upsurge in attendance at seances. The Door website should not be taken with The Purpose-Driven Life or Catholic Digest. A rare side effect in women who attend Marilyn Hickey seminars has been determined to be harmful to the ability to read Pauline epistles without extreme homophobia. Men who march in Fred Phelps demonstrations should not take The Door. Men who are members of Promise Keepers should enter the 21st century. If you experience a paroxysm of LOL that lasts for more than four hours, call Benny Hinn and give him all your money.

—Legal disclaimer prepared by Dr. Skippy R, Dr. J.B. Briggs, and Dr. Robert Jarvik, inventor of the artificial heart mentioned in the apocryphal book of Britney


Comments(67)

that calvinist doug | 01:39 pm on 2/11/2008

That's it. I'm out.

Anonymous | 07:25 pm on 10/22/2008

Doug! You are needed at ThinkChristian.net. Somebody is asking disparaging questions about Calvinists! Questions are being asked about whether Jesus meant what he said! Further, Richard Dawkins is driving around a bus saying there probably is no God! (And the Door hasn't put up any original material in months!!!

Anonymous | 01:45 pm on 2/11/2008

Gah, this is terrible. I like the door, but your picture implies that yall discourage righteousness. Thats different than self-righteousness. Jesus wasn't self-righteous. But he was righteous. Good idea, poor execution. Quit trying to be a bunch of jackasses and actually try to be funny.

stebeau | 10:53 am on 2/13/2008

Actually it is pretty funny. Those who would seek to become righteous are on a losing path. Our righteousness is only from and through him, allowing His life to flow. To the extent we try to become righteous, we just become religious!! (resulting in "I can do it better than you" pride, or "I can't measure up" self condemnation. ~S

ChocoboRacer | 11:29 am on 2/13/2008

I think you're wrong. He gave us a command, BE HOLY because I AM HOLY. It implies you must be actively willing to live a holy, righteous life, only then He can start living through you. HE gives us the strenght to endure trials, and when in temptation, provides an exit we must be willing to take. We will continue to sin, but we can aim for a non-sinful lifestyle, which is a completely different thing. The article was a little bit over the top, and I'm not one to take offense easily, I do like The Door. But the Heath Ledger reference was too much for me. I honestly think it should be removed.

The Enemy Below | 12:10 am on 2/14/2008

Oh,get a grip!!!No one's insuinating that without God things aren't possible!!
What the Door does is slaughter the Sacred Cows-ie:Windbag Preachers;Money Grubbing Televangalists-and do as God commanded and burn them on a grill!!

hayley the New Zealander with all the questions | 06:07 pm on 2/15/2008

Yay down with hypocrisy but remember that all things should be weighed an measured against the word of God and kept in line with it so why are you so worried when this (biblical) view point is exercised aren't we all under the same head and so is cleaving to him and following his instruction something to be worried about?

Chocoboracer | 05:53 pm on 2/19/2008

I read the article again... It is humorous and I totally understand the message they're trying to send... I guess the Heath Ledger reference in the title just made it hard for me to find it funny. I feel sorry for him (I feel bad thinking where he might be right now), his daughter and ex-wife. That's the gist of it. Why mess with him now that he's dead?

ben | 06:45 pm on 2/28/2008

Sorry, I'm not getting the Heath Ledger reference.???

Ya, I do feel bad for his daughter and ex-wife as well.

ben

Watchman | 07:55 pm on 1/22/2009

Dear chocoboracer,

Admittedly, the door may have some poor humor here and there. However, coming from a vein of desperately needed truth in our culture! This stuff simply kicks the religeous spirit folks in the teeth! It exposes the harlot who calls herself a bride! Not on purpose but by virtue of what those who become offended have actually bought into in culturized christianity. After reading your comment,it was plain from your orthodoxed perspective that we can actually measure up and that if we try hard enough to be righteous that we may actually please God and be worthy of His inheritance! The word of God explicitly states: All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23-24 We are now justified freely through the redemption of Jesus Christ. Not by religous works because our works are as filthy rags. Isaiah 64:6. So seperate yourself from mr. RC (Roman Catholism) and come to the living waters of Jesus Christ.

Anonymous | 01:04 am on 2/14/2008

Okay well I can understand the statement "We can only be righteous through God". So yeah, If that is what the article means then I am 100% behind it.

Dr. Mike | 02:22 pm on 2/14/2008

Bang on!

Anonymous | 04:30 pm on 2/28/2008

Quit trying to be a self-rightious jackass

Smith, John Smith | 09:12 pm on 8/16/2008

Good God,"Anonymous!" Take a course in humor/satire at a local junior college extension course, learn correct sentence structure and punctuation, then try another read - and another post. Who's the being the jackass here?

BoycottTBN | 02:54 pm on 2/11/2008

To Anonymous | 1:45 pm on 2/11/2008:

Why don't you try not being so anal and grow a sense of humor!! This is hilarious!!

Aletheuo | 04:24 pm on 2/11/2008

I love it!

Perhaps Anonymous migh try reading from 1 Cor. 1:8 as Paul warned those claiming to ne "brthren" believers like the Benny Hinns of this world profess;

But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.

Never forget Jesus' very words regarding His FREE GIFT saying in Matt. 10:8 & 9 speaking to the first evangelists He sent...His apostles.

8:....freely ye have received, freely give.

9: Provide neither gold, nor silver, nor brass in your purses,

The Greek word translated to "provide" is "ktaomai" and means "procure for yourself."

Paul said in 1 Cor. 9:18;

What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel.

I love what is done here especially when charlatans and merchandisers are exposed for the liars they are!

Peter warned too in 2 Peter 2:3 these people would emerge and I believe the DOOR is doing a fine job, albeit with salt that stings the wound needFULLY.

And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.

Keep it up guys and for those who have "bought the merchandise" of those being ridiculed here....open your Bible and read what God says, not the useless books they sell. Solomon had a word about that in Ecc. 12:12;

And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.

Keep up the good work Brothers!

Anonymous | 10:15 pm on 2/11/2008

Oh no I agree with you there. I love what the Door does against the fakers, the liars, the cheats, the frauds, the falsely religious. I just think sometimes in trying to make fun of those who put them selves on pedestals they forget themselves and try to take down those things which are rightly on pedestals. Like, ya know, righteousness. Religiosity can go to hell (in more ways than one)but I think its dangerous satire to confuse religiosity with sincere goodness and love. Binny Hin sucks, I agree there, but I just think there is some bad ground being tread here. Like I said, good idea, poor execution.

Hayley the New Zealander with all the questions | 06:10 pm on 2/15/2008

Well said

The Untouchable | 12:10 am on 2/14/2008

You got my vote!!

BJ | 10:15 am on 2/12/2008

The truth is the Door is not right for everyone. Satire exposing the forms of righteousness should be shocking. There are a lot of us believers who don't live in the Christian subculture. In fact we find it ripe with opportunities to make fun. Nothing is sacred. We don't drink milk from Christian cows, to quote an old Daniel Amos tune.
However, I must say. Those who find the Door offensive from time to time make the comment section more fun. Thank goodness there will always be those who stop by to watch the "car accident."

Anonymous | 01:45 pm on 2/12/2008

What definition of righteousness are you using? The definition I am using is "good, honest, fair, right". Those are good things right? We should respect people who are good, honest, and fair shouldn't we? We should think those things are good, and try to emulate those things. Is this article implying that the door is for people who are "bad, dishonest, unfair and wrong"? This isn't a matter of "christian sub-culture" (where on earth does that exist?) this is about saying "Ya know what? Good people are a good thing. Those people who help the homeless, they are good people." I just think the concept of the door is not for people who are "good, honest, and fair" a little disturbing. What is the opposite being embraced?

BJ | 02:29 pm on 2/12/2008

You are playing word games. You are the only one saying the Door is not for people who are good, honest, and fair. If you can't see the Christian sub culture you're probably in it.

that calvinist doug | 04:31 pm on 2/12/2008

Alright you two, play nice...by the way, who the heck is Anonymous? I've been noticing that he is making an awful lot of posts on this site. I keep thinking he'll run out of things to say, but doggonit, he's posting multiple times on every single topic. Frankly, I find it unbecoming.

BJ | 08:32 am on 2/13/2008

I'm heartely sorry for these my misdoings. The remembrance of them is grievious to me.

The Ringo Kid | 12:13 am on 2/14/2008

Aw,he's just an old poopy head who beleives that Ronald Reagan's gonna come back for him in June 2009 and take him on board the"Mothership"and go live in Conservativeland!!!

TheDonQuixotic | 01:15 am on 2/14/2008

Hey sorry. Okay sure, I will use a normal screen name. I even included my website. So I posted alot. I got a lot to say. Sorry if I made you mad. Anyway, so if we had a forum on this website I might just discuss it there. I guess I am just used to forums where discussions happen a lot more openly. So, sorry I talked alot. I took back some of the stuff I said, after some rather smart people pointed out the subtlies I missed. Give me a break eh?

that calvinist doug | 10:40 am on 2/14/2008

Actually, I think I was not clear. My "anonymous" comment was basically a joke; not referring to you in particular. It's just that alot (more than half?) of the replies on this site never use a screen name, which makes it difficult to follow along, or respond, which...oh, nevermind, when I have to explain a joke, I know it didn't work.

Kerry Leigh | 09:38 am on 2/13/2008

Your point is well taken, however, your Daniel Amos quote was incorrect. That is actually a quote from the Steve Taylor song "Guilty by Association" from his Meltdown album. Of course, this doesn't change the content of your posting at all, and there is really no reason for me to point this out....... I guess I'm self righteous or something..... oh Crap.... Should I even be reading this????

BJ | 10:53 am on 2/13/2008

Are you sure it's not from Little Crosses by Daniel Amos?

c | 05:52 pm on 2/13/2008

i always kind of liked the idea that they would know we are Christians by the way we loved each other...i like the Door, but it seems like there's some a little more divisive talk than is necessary, especially on these comments pages...shouldn't we seek to reconcile with those with whom we disagree, not simply make fun of them? are we stooping to the fundies' level by making excessive fun? if we put some of this energy towards loving our enemies, we might see a little kingdom-action take place.

p.s. you are silly. everything is sacred. the cows are probably anonymous Christians.

BJ | 08:59 am on 2/14/2008

Happy Valentines Day!

Josh H | 05:10 pm on 2/14/2008

Well, for over 20 years I've hated...make that despised Valentine's Day. But after popping on to Wikipedia, I think I'll appreciate it more, as he's the patron saint of: affianced couples, against fainting, bee keepers, happy marriages, love, plague, epileptics.

Damn! If I knew that my fainting (weird low blood pressure problem) and (recently developed) epilepsy were covered by him, I would've gotten into this day...hell...10 years ago!

Jonathan E. Brickman | 09:16 pm on 2/12/2008

I must confess that the Father has had to remove a very large collection of filth from my soul, in order for me to appreciate the wonderful good-humored teaching of the Door. But I am very grateful that He has.

J.E.B.

Prophet Lopi | 03:10 pm on 5/04/2008

Well said, Jonathan E. Brickman !!!!!!
It is always heartening to find another family member who knows HIM as "Our Father", who just so happens to have the GOD job.

Padredave | 08:55 am on 2/13/2008

I don't know... it occurs to me the point was if you are "thinking about becoming righteous" by definition it probably IS "self"-righteousness, cause its not something you choose to become by your own efforts. If it happens at all, it will be because you got out of the way and allowed Christ to do it - and the last thing you'd ever do is claim or believe it about yourself. Kinda like humility - if you think you've got it, or can get it, you don't and you won't.

c | 01:35 am on 2/22/2008

God predestined me to have free will.

ywamer | 09:01 am on 2/13/2008

Hmmm.

While all you people are arguing about the rough humor and being flippant about righteousness, I was busy feeling bad for poor Heath Ledger.

Anyways, I thought this dig was the best:
"Men who are members of Promise Keepers should enter the 21st century."

Ha! I did attend a Promise Keepers event once and it was fine. Though I don't remember what exactly they were promising.

BJ | 09:07 am on 2/13/2008

Was the event held on Brokeback Mountain? :)

The Enemy Below | 12:14 am on 2/14/2008

That's a good un'!!

SRebbe | 10:50 am on 2/13/2008

This should be the signature/disclaimer on the autoreply for every email sent to the Editor that poo poos The Door. It's satire, people. Quit shaving off your spikes. No one likes a naked porcupine.

Josh H | 06:22 pm on 2/13/2008

Well, not having a gag reflex is just what got Ted Haggard into the mess he got into!

If you follow me.

TheDonQuixotic | 01:17 am on 2/14/2008

I want to apologize to J.B. Briggs and the rest of the authors. I realize that I misunderstood your article and jumped to conclusion. I was wrong in my interpretation. Some smart people pointed that out to me. Also sorry for clogging up your comments section. How about a forum eh? Might be good... :D

Little D | 07:32 pm on 2/15/2008

That Calvinist Doug, come back! I think you missed the satire/point of this one!

tcd | 04:06 pm on 2/18/2008

No, I din't miss it. It was just a joke; self-deprecating humor, that's all.

Anonymous | 10:54 am on 2/16/2008

what Boycott TBN said!

You guys hit the nail on the head.

Raquel | 12:53 am on 2/23/2008

Not quite sure I got the Heath Ledger reference, but as for the rest of it. . . I laughed.

Anonymous | 11:31 am on 2/25/2008

I am trying to understand what Heath Ledger has to do with the article... I thought the article was funny, and to the point... Does the Heath Ledger reference have to do with the "Christians" who condemn him and say that his death was due to starring in "Broke Back Mountain"? The article seems to be trying to expose the hypocrisy of these kinds of people.

jack wilhite | 12:15 pm on 2/28/2008

As a secular humanist who happens to have a little musical knowledge and talent, I find your derision of Wintley Phipps to be disgusting. I don't support organized religion but some of those who do sure as hell can write and perform some mighty fine music. In this instance, your blind hatred is sad.

TheChocoboRacer | 09:54 am on 5/23/2008

thank you...

Siarlys Jenkins | 10:15 pm on 5/28/2008

Has anyone ever wondered whether the comments posted here have the slightest impact on anyone except the other people who post comments here, and most of all, whether our comments have any impact on the future course of the world, the church, the faith, or one individual life anywhere on the planet?

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.