PRINT
EMAIL
DISCUSSI'm a Weak and Broken Heterosexual Man In Need of Ben Franklins
02/11/2008By John Green
The Wittenburg Door has obtained the first draft of Ted Haggard’s recent fundraising appeal letter. We thought our readers would enjoy this glimpse into the heart of a servant of the Lord.
Dear gullible loyal supporter,
My family and I have decided to take over move into the Phoenix Dream Center on June 1st. The Phoenix Dream Center is a half-way house for the homeless, those coming out of prison, recovering alcoholics, drug addicts, prostitutes, and completely heterosexual ex-pastors other broken people. I identify. I identify with the homeless. I haven’t been able to live in my $715,000 Colorado home since my old church kicked me out and I moved to Arizona. It’s up for sale, but we don’t have a buyer yet.
The Dream Center is sponsored by Phoenix First Assembly, our new church home, but the workers are volunteers. The Dream Center also houses a church called "The Church on the Street." I met the pastor and told him that I am not used to being out of the limelight he asked me if I would be willing to mentor counsel some of the men and to take over leadership of the group teach the group from time to time. This would be a good thing since it is hard for me to not be in charge, and I have been getting bored. I have struggled to hold on to my megalomania.
After begging and pleading a series of discussions with several leaders and our pastor, Tommy Barnett, I have we decided to take charge of the serve the Dream Center as the Supreme Leader in whatever capacity asked, whether it's administering finances cleaning the building, hosting a visiting politician or celebrity group, attending a leadership meeting, or facilitating a Bible study on authenticity and integrity. In order to save money increase our availability to serve, my family and I have decided to sponge off of move and live in the Dream Center.
As a result, the Phoenix Dream Center team is giving us red carpet treatment creating an apartment for our family with a large plasma TV, hot tub and home gym by combining a small, one-bedroom apartment with an adjacent room so our boys will have their own rooms. The apartment will also include a mini TV studio where I can film footage for my own TBN program, which is currently in the planning stages.
In preparation for the future, Gayle and I are both enrolled at the University of Phoenix at their main downtown campus. Gayle is in the undergraduate program studying psychology so she can try to understand me better. I am pursuing my master of science in counseling degree — life can be kind of funny, can’t it, which means we are both full-time students. We’re busy doing regular-people stuff!
It looks as though it will take two years for us to have adequate earning power again to get back toward the lifestyle we are accustomed to, so we are looking for suckers people who will help us on a monthly basis for two years because we are used to people giving us money. During that time we will continue as full-time students, and then, when I graduate, we will be in the position to do more extensive fundraising campaigns won't need outside support any longer.
But for the next two years, we will need as much money as we can get support because the $338,000 I made last year just isn’t enough to live on. Between now and the end of the year, we have to fleece find the people who want to enable help us transition into our future. So I am starting today to let prospects friends like you know that we are begging raising money for support as we move into the Phoenix Dream Center.
Would you be willing to help us locate other suckers find people who can give a one-time gift or make a commitment to help support us monthly for two years? If so, that would sure make us happy be a blessing.
If people want to support us directly, they can mail checks to Ted and Gayle Haggard, 9699 N. Hayden, Suite 108, PMB 180, Scottsdale, AZ 95259. This is a private mail box address in a ritzy part of town that we have been using since we moved to the Phoenix area. If any supporters need a bogus tax deduction for their gift, they can mail it to Phonies Families With a Mission at P.O. Box 63125, Colorado Springs, Colo. 80962. The supporters would need to write their check to "Families With A Mission" and put a separate note on it that it is for me the Haggard family, then Families With a Mission will mail us 90% of the funds for support and use 10% for supporting the three-time loser who runs the scam administrative costs which is totally illegal, but completely necessary.
Thank you so much. We feel our move into the Dream Center is a smart thing to do the next step God would have us take. Any handouts help we can get with this will be greatly appreciated and, I believe, rewarded in heaven
.
Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might be dumb enough to contribute have an interest. Any handouts assistance we receive will be greatly appreciated because we are special and really aren’t used to having to live like regular people do. Thank you.
God bless,
Ted Haggard
"Preying" "Preparing"
Don't believe I would make my income by writing letters like that.
Is there a hotter place than hell for these degenerites??? Man, I'm supposed to forgive everyone but give me a break, some folks are just evil.
Let them run off a cliff!!!
Jesus, I pray for Ted Haggard. I've never been a follower or fan of his ministry, but I know he is in need of Your love and forgiveness. Please help him get his life back together. Not financially, but spiritually. Holy Spirit, comfort him and his family. Yes, he did this to himself. But thank you God that you are merciful. Just as you turned Saul from a murderer to Paul the great evangelist of the New Testament, please help remind Ted Haggard that you are the Vine, and he is just a branch. Thank you for forgiveness Jesus, without it we would all be nothing.
I don't have a problem with Ted Haggard and his sin, that is forgiveable....we all sin! I have a problem that he preaches the prosperity gospel, and it doesn't look like he's going to stop twisting scripture and fleecing the flock!
I agree Boycott, we all do indeed sin. For Haggard to start begging for dollars again is disgusting! Yep same old prosperity crap!
Yep!!It kinda reminds me of my Wife and her family when the subject turns to something controversial like Gay Marriage:
She immediately turns to Levitticus and sez"It's an abomination!!".
I say"True,but according to the OT,if you labor on the Sabbath,it's an offense punishable by death!!
If you eat shellfish or bottom dwelling fish;it's a sin!!
If you have a rebellious child,your'e supposed to turn them over to the town elders and let them stone them to death!!".
She says"Well,that was only for Old Testament Jews!!The New Testament supercedes it!!".
At that point,I give up!!
Well, you've gotta admit that he was p*ss-your-pants funny in "Jesus Camp."
Just for that, he deserves something....maybe not am Emmy, but a "Gimme" at least.
I'd like to fight Ted Haggard in the Octagon. I predict a first round victory due to leg-sweep, followed by ground and pound. In fact, I'd like to fight "The 3 H's" Haggard, Hinn and Hagee in the same night. I'm a 54 year old Jiu Jitsu Instructor and if they accept my challenge, I promise to go through them like a frickin' buzz saw and rid the world of 3 menaces.
You frighten me.
Hey Bro. I'm one of the good guys!
I believe you. My reply was a joke, 'cause you see, I was afraid you were mean, and then, you see, maybe you'd come kick my ass...nevermind, that's the second time today I've had to explain a joke. If I ever had it, I'm losing it.
You haven't lost TCD. I'm no expert, but I might have thrown in a "don't taze me bro" comment here.
I'd pay to see it. Although, I think Ted might like a good spanking. I bet Hinn could go through the whole match without his hair ever moving. Watch out for the turkey leg in Hagee's right hand. "Give Him praise" clap, clap, clap, clap.
I'd like to wrestle Paula White.
The first part of the letter might of been ok, but the fact that Ted Haggard actually has the audacity to ask for financial support is appalling and pathetic. Anyone that gives a dime to this man is a complete and utter fool.
Am I the only one reading this who thinks the whole thing, including the parts NOT crossed-out, is fiction?
Could be Doug! You have to remember these pimps aren't beyond doing something like this! Recall Jim Bakker? He's back on TV so it's not out of the realm of possibility 'ol Teddy could make a come back! Bob Tilton was royally embarrassed by Ole Anthony and Co. But he's also back on TV! Believe me these people are capable of almost anything!
I was thinking the same thing TCD.
No, you are not...I was scrolling through the responses to see if anybody was NOT taking this seriously.
I wish it was.
http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/families_with_a_mission
http://www.coloradoconfidential.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=2630
The ads in the links you included would send Haggard into relapse.
I think what is so sad is not that anyone is kicking Ted Haggard while he is down. The satire in the letter is what drives home the point. Ted and his wife are accustomed to a certain level of living and by sending out his letters, he shows that he believes it is up to his supporters to ensure that he is able to maintain that lifestyle.
If you'll check Wikipedia, you'll see that Ted's "Restoration Team" has stepped in and asked him to slow down, and take a secular job; avoiding any ministry at this time.
I was involved with the restoration of an Elder and Christian counselor (20+ years) after an outright affair. It was excruciating to watch him go through the rebuilding process and the reinvention of his walk with Christ, but he did everything asked of him, basically weeping on the back pew for a year and working at a meaningless desk job. But now 10 years later he is a testimony to others who've blown it on a huge public scale, fully restored to his family and just beginning to move back into ministry – this time with unbelievable accountability.
The test of a real, sincere faith is humbling yourself. If Ted bolts for the nearest ministry that will have him (like Jimmy Swaggert) then he deserves the ridicule of this article. If he listens, we may see him in years to come as God intended him to be from the start. Good luck Ted, and choose wisely.
Perfectly said, Jesse. When Ted left the church for Arizona he talked alot about money and then he sent out that fundraising letter. Now He's bowed out of the restoration process. It's my belief He is unrepentant and people need to BEWARE of him. Also, honor comes after humility, so that minister you talk about will be honored by God for his compliance to the restoration process. Praise God for him.
Then again,according to the OT,stuff like that happened quite a bit!!
Think of Lot and his daughters for one!!
i don't have a problem with people sinning. that happens to everyone. where the problem comes in is when people like haggard want to continue in ministry after a slap on the wrist, or in some other cases, with no discipline at all. i think that ministers who are caught doing the stuff they preach against should have to step down from ministry, and leave the profession. go sell real estate, just don't be a preacher anymore. it's like a cop that is caught dealing drugs isn't allowed to be a cop anymore, yet a preacher who is caught with his pants down is allowed to go right back into a pulpit and many times the congregations just give them a standing ovation and offer undying support. yes, support them, spiritually support them as they find other things to do for a living!!! i would say, though, let them stand on their own 2 feet and not keep trying to live off continued financial offerings. that is just like giving them paid admin leave while they rev it up again, which is what it looks like ted wants to do. good grief, no, please, do everyone a favor and just leave ministry altogether.
Please remember after this man hid his homosexuality for decades, he was "cured" after three short weeks. That alone should make us all wary of the man. Any radical change such as that has no credibility until five years go by and the person has had no relapses and is a different person. Including no longer being a shyster, which is his real depravation.
I think this is a little to harsh. Walk in Ted's shoes. I reckon that when he married - he did so because some fundie pastor told him that if he'd take a step of faith and marry - despite the fact that he loved dick - then God would honour the faith step and change him into a straight man.
Then when God didn't - he kept believing because that is what true believers do - that is what those who attain the promises of God do.
At some point in time - when he gave up the "fight" - it was all too hard to come clean and be honest. The costs was too great. And anyhow - our Christian world either hates homos or hates hypocrites. Somehow he justified his ongoing deception because by then - well it was God fault for not healing Ted as he promised.
Ted is probably still to cowardly custard to make it right.
What is it that I (we) are too cowardly custard to put right?
Let he who is without cowardly custard throw the first stone and then let al lof us with grace and love let ted know that we won't help him continue the lie - but that we won't crucify him either.
*sigh* Some people just have no sense of humor.
These sages on the stages of American christianity these days, as well as their followers, are all about appearance. This is why a gay guy has to pretend to be straight. This is why a man or woman full of pride and greed tries to pretend to be humble, tells others to be humble and give all their money to them, then goes out and gets repeated cosmetic surgeries, a 20 million-dollar jet for personal use and show, and lives in a multi-million dollar mansion.
I'm done with church altogether. I'd rather just spread the love of Christ around wherever I go, not by preaching it but by living it.
Not saying I accomplish that goal, but I get a lot closer and hear his voice a lot better when a world of religious voices aren't screaming in my ear.
Karen, we need to talk, girlfriend (2 snaps and a twist). If your idea of "church" is televangelists, then yes, I'd advise you to give up on church. But this is most assuredly NOT the church indicated in the New Testament, about which Paul advised us "not to give up the habit of meeting together..." If we are each members of the body of Christ, incomplete on our own, I don't see how you can live out the christian life in isolation. Chat-rooms, message boards, and the like aren't going to cut it. Just my opinion...
Doug,
I agree with you completely; I will say that not everyone actually "can" go to church...as in physically darken the doors of one because of various and sundry health issues. For example, where I live now, the only churches that have any transportation assistance for people with disabilities or without transportation are the televangelist-ish ones. I'll stick with my Phyllis Tickle books and my podcasts of folks I'm theologically on the same page with, thankyouverymuch. And I say that as an unprogrammed Quaker of seven years, who now lives out in BFE with no meetings within (what seems like) parsecs and would settle for a nice Episcopal or Lutheran church that doesn't get wrapped around the axle about stupid sh*t that Franklin Graham or James Dobson or Joel Osteen are crowing about!
I'll also say that there are people deeply wounded by the televangelist-ish brick-and-mortar churches to the point that they want nothing to do with churches of any kind.
Josh,
Touche regarding the transportation issue; good point and I'll gladly stand corrected on that. Hopefully, in those instances where transportation is the only issue (versus bedridden issues) there could be found some Jesus-loving church to provide a ride. Besides, as I heard some comedian say the other night, with these new GPS devices, we've discovered there is an actual BFE, only problem is, to get there you must go up s**t creek.
one of the most dangerous places to go to is an American church. there's not too many safe ones left. seek God for a good church and if you can't find one stay home.
Anon,
Respectfully, your point could be construed as prideful intellectualism or at least Christian consumerism..."if they don't agree with me on almost every point, if they dare challenge anything I hold dear, if I don't like all the music, etc. then they don't love Jesus like I do, so I have to leave..." The problem is the church is made up of people, and people screw up. I know, I am one. But you see, so are you, so please don't assume your assumptions are always correct.
I wouldn't be able to count how many times I have heard this over the years. So basically someone takes the position that they are one of the ones that are blessed with enough discernment to see that there are problems with every church that they find themselves in. So what is the solution?.. they opt out. So lets see, you help the health of local church congregations by voluntarily removing yourself from them. To take that position you have to believe that you are less of a problem or screwed up than those who make up the local congregations that you visit (which I doubt). But then you put yourself in the position in which you contribute to the dysfunction by being one of "the good guys" and then opting out thereby depriving the body of your gifts. Its a lose lose situation. Either you are not as above reproach as this position seems to make people sound or you are and you are contributing to the problem by depriving the body of your gifts. Either way You need to change.
I certainly don't believe that someone who sins has to step down from ministry forever. That would exclude....umm....everyone. I do agree that there should be an extended time of healing for he and his family though. He's jumping back in too soon. Through sin, I once lost everything I possessed and somehow, I turned my life around and became a productive citizen again without sending one fund raising letter. He's lost his footing atop the "prosperity gospel pyramid" and he's looking for a leg up.....err....handout. He needs to go to Home Depot and get a full time job with health insurance bennies for the fam. His wife needs to get a job schlepping milk shakes at the local Tasty Freeze....they'll do just fine. Maybe Copeland and Dollar will throw a benefit for him, invite all the big whigs and put together a "love offering"......not......
Doesn't Ted get any money from his role in "Jesus Camp"?
If you're dumb enough to contribute, may God grant you two brain cells. The prosperity gospel is the product of white North American male priviliged thought. I'm pretty sure these pastors must be missing the Sermon on the Mount.
What pisses me off is that he can prey on people that don't have alot of money to share, but do so anyways. Personally, I'm not going to give you my money when I need to pay for seminary education and medicine for a chronic illness after being dropped from insurance! Puh-lease.
Moreover, how about taking that second room so that your sons can have their own rooms, and making them share. That way another family can come in and be "helped" by you. Imagine your family serving in a third world country - they aren't going to get their own private bedrooms and be eating cheeseburgers.
Priviliged Ethnocentrism in the name of Christ makes me want to puke.
Icannot wrap my mind around people buying in to his prosperity
gospel-well, his or any other's. Don't these people read the
Bible??????Maybe they do but it's a version put out by this
clown. Idon't want non-Christians to look at him and think all
Christians are like him. Finally, my thought is that if you
are stupid enough to support these people who make a joke out
of what a Christian should be/could be then Happy Trails to
you. God bless and forgive us all.
I see a lot of stones flying here so it seems that perhaps I am the only one unqualified to throw one. My sin (s) might not be as "big" or as public, but they are just as real. however, it is good to see that God has provided plenty of others who are qualified be "his" rock pitchers.
As a guy doing minisitry in C/S (the rocky mountian christian mecca) i have seen Ted and New Life for years, and i have my issues with the church and with him. however, years ago him and I crossed pathes and a LIMTED relationship developed. (yes depsite the fact I grew up in the S.F. Bay area and did ballett I am not refering to that kind of relationship)
Months after his fall I ran into him at the loal tire store and we spent some time in discussion. I am convinced he was repentent, and he took respolnablity for his actions. True, I am not the H.S., but in my heart I believed him.
That said, I also question a restoration process that requires the person being restored to move out of state. Yes, I understand the physical reasons for the move, but it probably should have been the near the end of the restoration not the beginning. Also, the attitude that comes through the letter has from this local systems pastor’s point of view been the attitude of N/L.
As an example I would site my recent experience at the Starbucks close to N/L. I am disabled, and have trouble opening heavy doors and walking in icy conditions. So when I went to the Starbucks I was a little nervous about getting into the building. As I approached the door I saw two of the lead pastors of N/L coming out. They let the door close behind them, and stood in the door talking about all the blessing that had come out of the recent tragedy there, and how Fox News was going to be covering the blessing that have come from that horrific day. They stood there completely blocking the door while a line to leave and enter to store built up on both sides of them. Their conversation continued for several minutes with at least 6 people on my side of the door able to hear every word, and waiting to enter. There where at least 4 on the other side trying to get out. People that tried to slip by them or interrupt them where met with a hand gesture to wait. Finally people began to walk all the way around the building to use the back of the building. As I have a cane and a service dogs this was not an option for me. After several minutes I was finally able to interrupt them to get by, and was greeted with a harsh look by both men. As I tried to open the door I realized that they where in the way of the door opening, and that the door was to heavy for me. One of the people that had walked around the building seeing my problem came through the building and started to open the door. This caused me to lose my balance and I feel across my service dog while losing my cane. On the way, down the "lead pastors" where kind enough to step out of my way so that I did not fall on them, and thus allow my uncoolness to give them cuties. However, after I fell at there feet neither of them made an effort to help me or acknowledge me, and simply looked at me ended their conversation and left me on the ground. Thus a couple of other people came out from the through back of the building and came around to the front to help me up. While these "lead pastors" got in their nice cars and drive off without an ounce of visible concern for the people around them.
I share this story not for sympathy for I am fine, but when these men talk of the grace and the redemption they have tried to show Ted I do believe that my doubt in there efforts is well founded. If these men are to self-assured to open a door for a disabled person 3 feet from them or able to offer a hand to that same disabled person who falls at their feet it is hard to believe that they are sensitive to the pain of believer suffering the consequences of his sin. Yet, without this empathy it is doubtful that to me that restoration can take place.
Dear Colorada Springs Pastor,
My sincere apologies that you had to experience this episode. These N/L pastors mustn't have read the story about the Good Samaritan.
What bothers me (besides them ignoring your plight), is their arrogance in thinking they were more important than others trying to enter or leave. Humility dictates that they should have stood off to the side to engage in conversation.
And again, so sorry that they showed you no compassion or empathy. Praise God for the people who *did* offer you assistance. God Bless you always.
Post new comment