Epigrammatic Theology for the Megachurch Generation
By Fred Allen

Bumper stickers for the new millennium:

One nation under awed.
Jesus saves, but the interest rate leaves a lot to be desired.
Better latte than never.
Remember the Sabbath and keep it short.
The meek don’t want it.
Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be slightly irritating.
Given God's aversion to sin, it's probably best to limit visitation hours.
You're happy. Big deal.
Pretending is necessary.
Sermons should be delivered to your door and you should get a refund if it's more than 30 minutes or cold.
Jesus probably has better things to do.
Boredom is a form of sacrifice.
Three things I don't understand: The love of God, the cross of Christ, and celery.
If it were funny, I'd be laughing.
Never ask the Holy Spirit for a light.