Nine third-graders at Center Elementary School in Waycross, Georgia, brought a steak knife, handcuffs and duct tape to class so they could show their female teacher just how much they dislike her.
The 8-year-olds and 9-year-olds were rounded up by police and disciplined by school authorities, but after some rudimentary investigation, we’ve been able to determine that a) the children had no vehicle, so their chances of secretly disposing of the teacher’s body were nil, b) the steak knife was so dull that, on the previous evening, it had proved inadequate in efforts to pierce the shrink-wrap on a Hungry Man TV dinner, c) the duct tape had been dropped into a home aquarium and remained there for several weeks and was not likely to retain its adhesive qualities, and d) the teacher had recently required the entire class to dance the minuet in period costume. This was just a cry for help. These kids wanted the abuse to stop.