By John Green

The Wittenburg Door has obtained the first draft of Ted Haggard’s recent fundraising appeal letter. We thought our readers would enjoy this glimpse into the heart of a servant of the Lord.

Dear gullible loyal supporter,

My family and I have decided to take over move into the Phoenix Dream Center on June 1st. The Phoenix Dream Center is a half-way house for the homeless, those coming out of prison, recovering alcoholics, drug addicts, prostitutes, and completely heterosexual ex-pastors other broken people. I identify. I identify with the homeless. I haven’t been able to live in my $715,000 Colorado home since my old church kicked me out and I moved to Arizona. It’s up for sale, but we don’t have a buyer yet.

The Dream Center is sponsored by Phoenix First Assembly, our new church home, but the workers are volunteers. The Dream Center also houses a church called "The Church on the Street." I met the pastor and told him that I am not used to being out of the limelight he asked me if I would be willing to mentor counsel some of the men and to take over leadership of the group teach the group from time to time. This would be a good thing since it is hard for me to not be in charge, and I have been getting bored. I have struggled to hold on to my megalomania.

After begging and pleading a series of discussions with several leaders and our pastor, Tommy Barnett, I have we decided to take charge of the serve the Dream Center as the Supreme Leader in whatever capacity asked, whether it's administering finances cleaning the building, hosting a visiting politician or celebrity group, attending a leadership meeting, or facilitating a Bible study on authenticity and integrity. In order to save money increase our availability to serve, my family and I have decided to sponge off of move and live in the Dream Center.

As a result, the Phoenix Dream Center team is giving us red carpet treatment creating an apartment for our family with a large plasma TV, hot tub and home gym by combining a small, one-bedroom apartment with an adjacent room so our boys will have their own rooms. The apartment will also include a mini TV studio where I can film footage for my own TBN program, which is currently in the planning stages.

In preparation for the future, Gayle and I are both enrolled at the University of Phoenix at their main downtown campus. Gayle is in the undergraduate program studying psychology so she can try to understand me better. I am pursuing my master of science in counseling degree — life can be kind of funny, can’t it, which means we are both full-time students. We’re busy doing regular-people stuff!

It looks as though it will take two years for us to have adequate earning power again to get back toward the lifestyle we are accustomed to, so we are looking for suckers people who will help us on a monthly basis for two years because we are used to people giving us money. During that time we will continue as full-time students, and then, when I graduate, we will be in the position to do more extensive fundraising campaigns won't need outside support any longer.

But for the next two years, we will need as much money as we can get support because the $338,000 I made last year just isn’t enough to live on. Between now and the end of the year, we have to fleece find the people who want to enable help us transition into our future. So I am starting today to let prospects friends like you know that we are begging raising money for support as we move into the Phoenix Dream Center.

Would you be willing to help us locate other suckers find people who can give a one-time gift or make a commitment to help support us monthly for two years? If so, that would sure make us happy be a blessing.

If people want to support us directly, they can mail checks to Ted and Gayle Haggard, 9699 N. Hayden, Suite 108, PMB 180, Scottsdale, AZ 95259. This is a private mail box address in a ritzy part of town that we have been using since we moved to the Phoenix area. If any supporters need a bogus tax deduction for their gift, they can mail it to Phonies Families With a Mission at P.O. Box 63125, Colorado Springs, Colo. 80962. The supporters would need to write their check to "Families With A Mission" and put a separate note on it that it is for me the Haggard family, then Families With a Mission will mail us 90% of the funds for support and use 10% for supporting the three-time loser who runs the scam administrative costs which is totally illegal, but completely necessary.

Thank you so much. We feel our move into the Dream Center is a smart thing to do the next step God would have us take. Any handouts help we can get with this will be greatly appreciated and, I believe, rewarded in heaven

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Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might be dumb enough to contribute have an interest. Any handouts assistance we receive will be greatly appreciated because we are special and really aren’t used to having to live like regular people do. Thank you.

God bless,

Ted Haggard
"Preying" "Preparing"