Beware, Wife, Who Art Not Wifely
A couple of women on the faculty of Mars Hill Graduate School, the small seminary in Seattle, are claiming they were fired (listen closely now) because their husbands had affairs with students, then they divorced the husband over the affair. They’re not sure whether this means they were fired for getting a divorce (not out of the question at a fundamentalist school), or, even worse, for causing their husbands to have extra-marital sex (sadly enough, also not out of the question). But one teacher was angry enough to sue the school and settle out of court for $300,000. The cultural parallel here is, of course, the Taliban, which blames the woman for all sexual infidelity. It started with those Mary Quant mini-skirts in Piccadilly Square in 1965, and it hasn’t been the man’s fault since then.
Prosperity Gospel Saint Blesses The Door
Mac Hammond, prosperity-gospel megachurch guru for the Twin Cities, is selling his airplane—or at least one of them—because his cash cow, the Living Word Christian Center in Brooklyn Park, is running anywhere from $30,000 to $70,000 in the red every week, despite his 10,000 members and—as of a year ago—308 new “souls saved” at each service. (For those who have been paying very close attention, this is the same jet that Kenneth Copeland referred to during the now infamous minister’s conference that was adjourned to raise money for Mike Huckabee. Copeland said “I’d like to try to keep Mac’s jet in the family.” Word Faith ministers preside over families of jets as well as families of humans.) Asked how Living Word Christian Center could possibly be losing money, a spokesman, the Rev. Brian Sullivan, said he thinks it’s the “bad publicity” recently surrounding anyone who teaches Word Faith. THANK YOU, BROTHER BRIAN, FOR ACKNOWLEDGING OUR HARD WORK. GOD BLESS YA, BROTHER. HALLELUJAH!
Supermodel Hired to Play Yogi, But Who Will They Get For Boo-Boo?
Indian hottie Mallika Sherawat landed a role in The Aquarian Gospel as a comic-relief yogi who meets Jesus while he’s wandering around India, Tibet and Persia in director Drew Heriot’s $15 million project to be released sometime in 2009. The idea here seems to be the filmic equivalent of those “historical Jesus” best-sellers that operate on the assumption that, hey, you can’t prove it didn’t happen this way.
The Theory That State Legislators Evolved From Manatees
The next time a state legislature takes up what should be taught in high school science class, I would like to propose that we have a little one-day class for the legislators themselves on the meaning of the word “theory.” Florida is the latest state to insert into textbooks the statement that evolution is “only a theory,” thinking that somehow that establishes parity between evolution and a literal reading of Genesis. Alas, in science the word “theory” means the opposite of what the lawmakers think it means. A theory, like the theory of gravity or the theory of relativity, is a huge body of independently verified scientific information that all works together to explain how the world works. You only use “theory” after you’ve gone through a lot of other stages. “Theory,” in science, is what most people call “fact” in other areas of life. What the legislators are trying to say is that evolution is not a theory but merely a “thesis,” which it is not. It is a theory. The idea that the earth is 6,000 years old and was created in six literal 24-hour days—now that is a thesis.
Mazel, Dude, Peace Out
So there was this singing Hasidic rabbi from Jerusalem who liked to teach mystical nuggets from the Kabbalah while surfing in Santa Barbara and skateboarding through crowds of dancing Jews as he played Bob Marley covers on his guitar, and here’s the punch line: there is no punch line. Meet Yom Tov Glaser, Party Rabbi.