Christians posing as terrorists at the Air Force Academy so they can bash Islam—yes, incredibly, that’s what may be going on, according to the Military Religious Freedom Foundation. A guy named Kamal Saleem claims he’s descended from “the grand wazir of Islam,” and he knows all about terrorism because, as a Muslim child, he was used to infiltrate Israel with bombs transported through a network of secret tunnels under the Golan Heights. Saleem and two of his cohorts, Zak Anani and Walid Shoebat, did indeed show up at the Academy last week, supposedly to help prepare a report on fighting terrorism for the Pentagon and Congress. Unfortunately for them, some Air Force officers called them outright frauds, pointing out that there is no Grand Wazir—in fact, there may be no Grand Wazir of anything, unless it’s a Ku Klux Klan title—and there are no secret tunnels under the Golan Heights. (That would be secret tunnels under, uh, a mountain?) All three men happen to be Muslims who have converted to Christianity, and their appearance is part of a long-term effort by proselytizers in Colorado Springs who apparently just never got the memo and refuse to give up until every cadet has confessed Christ. Meanwhile, the Arab-American organizations are up in arms (not literally), asking why the FBI is not investigating all three, since they all claim ties to terrorist organizations. If they ever were interrogated by the FBI, they would probably want to seek out those secret tunnels under the Rockies.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

All those Baptist Lite people that had their Jimmy Carter love-in in Atlanta last week issued several statements to the press about how they’re all coming together and helping the poor and the Holy Spirit is moving amongst us and charity is important and hey, that global warming thing, we have to do something, and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, oh yeah, sorry, nodded off there for a minute. Peace. Love. Dude.

Free Sister Norma

I normally skip right past the daily Roman Catholic Sex Scandal—the priest is outed, he’s reassigned, the church pays a settlement, victims talk about how they’ve lived with shame, on and on—but I couldn’t help noticing the case of Sister Norma Giannini, now living in a Sisters of Mercy group of retired nuns in suburban Chicago. While in her early thirties she was the principal of St. Patrick’s High School in Milwaukee, and she had sex with a couple of teenage boys—more than once with each guy. Now that she’s 79 years old and in failing health, they’re coming after her, with the two males threatening to testify, and so rather than go through a trial she’s accepting a one-year jail term. This is insane. Boys who get initiated into sex by older women are different from girls who get hit on by older men. Public humiliation, the guilt over breaking her vows, the usual disciplinary actions of the church—these are enough. Passing an 80th birthday in a Wisconsin county jail is beyond cruel. We live in strange times. Forty years ago—at the time of the offense—her antics could have been the plot of a mainstream coming-of-age comedy.

No, the Seven-Headed Beast Is Not a Form of Kinky Sex

Everything you ever wanted to know about dispensationalists—those whack-jobs, whoops, I mean, those Christian brothers and sisters who believe in the End Times rapture and read Tim LaHaye novels—is summed up in an article by James Q. Wilson, writing in the policy-geek magazine City Journal, called “Why Don’t Jews Like the Christians Who Like Them?”. Since we get tired of explaining this stuff to atheist curiosity-seekers, the answer is yes, it’s a heresy. It’s an old old heresy.