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DISCUSSDon't Let the Girl Pigeon Preach!
02/27/2008
By Al Speegle, Jr.
Thomas Nelson Publishing announces the signing of Mo Willems, the famed children’s author of New York Times best sellers
Each of his books teach children a moral lesson in a way they can understand and enjoy. Now, through this exclusive arrangement with America's foremost faith-based publishing house, they’ll learn those same messages—but with a glossy conservative Christian overlay!
Titles expected to be available for the Christmas buying season include:
My Friend is Sad and Dead
Teaches children not all their friends know Jesus.
Skinny Sheep in a Fat Church
Picture book, beautifully illustrated and written with clever rhymes.
Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Church Bus
Roman Catholic mouse takes everyone on a guilt trip.
Don’t Let the Girl Pigeon Preach!
Pudgy Baptist seminary president has a temper tantrum.
Today I Will Fly Away, Maybe
Piggy and Elephant watch for the rapture: “Will it be today?”
From the Lion and Lamb series, I’m Invited to the End Times Supper
Children learn to share their food, not eat each other.
Every Pig for Himself
A collection of short articles by various animal televangelists including how they felt making their first million, owning their first airplane, interesting places they’ve visited, and various conferences that didn’t go well and why.
Howard Browne, The Elephant Televangelist Who Couldn’t Stop Laughing
Jesse Duplantis, The Televangelist Plant Who Thought He was Funny. But Wasn’t.
There is a Dove on Your Head!
Based on the game by the same name.
A Pigeon’s Guide to the Care and Feeding of Your Gulfstream G150 Business Jet
Time to Say “Praise the Lord!”
Flying mice teach children manners and respect for God and parents. Phrases include: “Praise the Lord,” “Children, obey your parents,” “Yes, mother” and “Yes, father dear” and “Wives, submit to your husbands.”
"From the Lion and Lamb series, I’m Invited to the End Times Supper
Children learn to share their food, not eat each other."
The imagery is that the "wolf" will lie next to the lamb and they will not eat each other. I dont know why but thats always been a peeve of mine. Especially when I hear it in a sermon because it means that the pastor didn't even glance at those passages recently yet is perfectly willing to use the OT imagery. Heres a hint preachers, if you are gonna retell an OT story or describe an idea or a passage, re-read it at least once before you do.
An, sounds like you need to read Mo's book, Stop the Bus, Get Gus to Take Us H00ters the Owl (for some hot wings).
Okay, but wolf and lamb doesn't quite have the alliterative quality..and no preacher alive is going to sacrifice style for substance....ya think?
You forgot one:
"Oops, Piggy threw out the baby!"
Wherein, in her zeal to be "nice" (and politically-correct), Piggy inadvertantly adopted universalism in the name of Christianity.
You forgot my fave...
"Bobo the Baboon Marries His Right Hand"
The wonders of abstinence commitments...comes (no pun intended) with a lovely rubber band bracelet!
Mo's short film documentary due out next month on PBS:
Fish Swim, Birds Fly, Wolves Wear Sheeps Underwear
Asked what it was about, he replied,
"Is that a tatto on your beak, or are you just glad to see me."
"No,really what's it about?"
"Take two eggs, 3 cups of water, a tablespoon of vinegar, chop one green olive, add mustard to taste. Don't forget a clove of garlic. Garnish with any of Benny Hinn's books*, and whal la ... Bake for ten minutes at 450, or in a 300W microwave for 3 minutes, stir occassionally. Serve with noodles or Jelly with popcorn. * For more spice, add page twelve of any of Ken Copeland books.
"Time to spit"
Teaching children the difference between like and love.
Forward written by Ted Haggard.
Un-friggin'-believable!!! BJ's best always comes out on this type of article. Dude, I read The Door to see what you're sayin'!! It's a riot...how do you think of this stuff?! Good one...
"The vulture finds a weenie"
Forward by Ted Haggard
BJ, you sir, are a deviant...and I don't hand out compliments like that easily.
I bet you say that to all the Arminians.
Just don't make something obscene out of TULIP!! Don't do it, man!
Given my total depravity and my unconditional disdain for the sacred, along with my limited ability to censor myself, you have presented me with an irresistable challenge and I will persevere until I find the obscene in the beautiful.
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