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DISCUSSMidwestern Christian Girl Still Single at 22
05/05/2008By Leann Long
Springtown, MO--The Christian community in Springtown, Missouri, is outraged over a community member's unwillingness to do anything possible to get married as soon as possible.
Having still not met a man she wants to marry at the ripe age of 22, Carrie Webster refuses to force herself to fall in love with any of the available Christian men she knows. Even though several of the men interested in marrying Webster are virgins and many more are born-again virgins, she still refuses to consider any of them, claiming she is seeking a man who can satisfy deeper issues, such as challenging her spiritually and intellectually.
Adding to Carrie's peculiar life choices is her complacency in being single. Webster's former Sunday School teacher, baffled at how someone from her church could be so defiant, doesn't know what to make of Webster's rebellious behavior. "Not only is she being ridiculously selective in choosing a mate," said Mrs. Linda Mae McGlashan, "something that really doesn't require much thought, but she is also fine with not getting married for several more years!"
Webster attributes part of her contentment to remain single to her successful career, which she claims is "very fulfilling."
Not being tied down with a husband or family has allowed her to travel frequently with her company and meet interesting people from around the world. According to Webster, her globe-spanning trips have given her the opportunity to build relations with and witness to many individuals.
"Being single so long has given me time to discover my own passions and interests and build a career," she said.
The entire community is perplexed by Webster's choice to actually pursue a career after graduating from college, as young Christian women in the Midwest typically attend a small liberal arts or religious college for the sole purpose of finding a husband.
Testament University graduate Tracy Bolles met her husband the day she moved into the dorms as a freshmen and says she felt as though her life's mission was complete. "He was a tall basketball player at a Christian university-more than I ever dreamed I would find in a man."
Bolles did complete an undergraduate degree in public relations but said she has no interest in that field. She reports, instead, "utter contentment" as the wife of a former college basketball star.
Not all Midwest girls are as lucky as Bolles, unfortunately. Wheaton, IL native Jenny Stream did not meet her husband until her sophomore year of college. "I stuck out like a sore thumb my freshmen year because I was not in a serious, Christ-centered relationship," Stream said. "It took me a while to find a guy who was called into ministry."
Stream is not alone in wanting to marry someone who is called into ministry. According to a recent study conducted on college campuses throughout the Midwest, South and Southwest, 95% of all young Christian woman feel called to be pastor's wives.
With so many girls finding true love by the age of 19, what is Webster's problem? Sociologists from a nearby Lutheran college placed the blame on her family, but Sandy Webster is flabbergasted and ashamed of her daughter's behavior and choices.
"I am ready to pour thousands of dollars into a 20-minute wedding ceremony," Sandy said, tears streaming down her face. "But Carrie insists on rebelling. I'm utterly appalled by her selfish actions. She should have already given me a couple of grandchildren by now, yet she is more concerned with establishing a life and identity of her own. I don't understand why she can't just sacrifice all of her personal goals and choose one of the local Christian men to spend the rest of her life with. Why can't she just live her life exactly like I want her to-the way a Christian woman should."
The entire Christian community in Springfield has publicly committed itself to praying daily that God will lower Webster's standards so that she can settle down-and so that her days as successful career woman can come to an end. Although her parent's and church community acknowledge that waiting until she is older to marry will give her more time to develop as an individual and, thus lower her chances of getting divorced, they want her to select a husband now because that is what young Christian women do.
Carrie's father, Steve Webster, wishes he still had the power to ground his daughter for the controversy she has created-however, he fears that grounding will only exacerbate the problem.
"Having a job that makes her happy and gives her the freedom to follow her dreams is not part of God's plan and is no way for a Christian girl to live her life!" Webster said.
don't men like it better beneath women?
Behind is fine
here in the mini-Bible-belt, pa-dutch, marry-right-out-of-high-school-if-at-all-possible world that i'm from, being the 20-year-old sister of a guy who really did marry at 19 (though he was so attached to the girl that he might as well have been married since he was 16), everyone at my small church seems to think that i should be hitched as well. thankfully, there actually are a couple of us now that have no significant others and we're slowly showing everyone that single people can actually lead accomplished lives as well. shocking!
on another note.... do the people who look at you with sadness when you say "husband? oh, I don't even have a boyfriend" totally forget the things that Paul said about being celibate?
Who said anything about celibacy? just kidding.
Go do stuff Missa, the world is a big, interesting, amazing place. You should go see it before you get trapped by a husband, kids, mortgage and car payments. Nothing chokes the spirit of adventure like living the American Dream. Don't buy stuff, save your money and backpack Europe. If that sounds too scary, sign up for some aid work with a christian organization. Go to college and get into a study-abroad program. Anything is better than nothing if you have an adventurous spirit.
If you want to have some interesting stories to tell your kids, you have to do something interesting.
It's real... or at least it was a coupla decades ago when I went to college in Springtown, MO (boy, they didn't have to change that name much to protect the guilty.)
So, yes, even a hottie (that was then;) with a propensity to hide in the bathroom when the bouquet was being thrown at classmates weddings--and who made such a point of NOT going for the MRS degree that I had the tendency to intimidate most of the guys at my school--even the pseudo-thought-I-was-a-feminist-of-sorts finicky chick from up north who didn't have a twang or big hair, ended up getting hitched within a year of graduation. In some sick recesses of my mind I thought all the good (?) men were going to be grabbed up & I'd better get one before my life was over (at 21!)... besides, it was "better to marry than burn" and I was in real danger of that. So, I spent the next decade and a half of my life popping out a bunch of babies (until someone finally took me to the woodshed and explained how that was happening...)
I have soooo many stories I could tell about life in the girls' dormitories of the Christian Liberal Arts and Bible Colleges (yes, plural) I attended. There were girls aspiring to be politicians' wives, too (and giggling in the dorm about picking out china for some future White House dinner). It really was incredible how many focused more on who they would marry than on what they were personally there to study. I rebelled and married a guy from the local University (who happened to be involved in a really weird cult) -- our marriage was definitely not one that would have been approved of by the Christian College (and I might not have gone through so much grief if I hadn't spent so much time avoiding the guys in my classes) -- but still, I place some of the blame for such a young foolish decision on the culture I had been surrounded by for the four preceding years. I think the state of desperation that so many of the girls ran around in had the effect of making the guys at the school loose respect for their female classmates and treat them like objects. I felt much more respected for my mind by the "pagans" at the U.
BTW, I was raised a PK, too, and put in some time serving with my husband as a youth pastor team (I did all the work and he played with the kids), thus, along with the Christian Liberal Arts College "dating" (or lack-thereof) experiences, I still have a LOT of recovery to muddle through. (So, if I ramble, misspell, or sound incoherent, "BACK OFF!!!" [and picture me saying that with my very best Chris Farley impression])
Have a nice day.
everyone here rambles, misspells, and sounds incoherent along with muddling through their individual therapies. that's why we all end up here and have community.
so welcome and enjoy the madness.
You're in the right place.
Speak for yourselves SRebbe and BJ. I have it all together, and I never ramble...unless you count the rambling about how I have it all together...besides, my kids love me (most of the time) and my wife tolerates me (most of the time)...darn it, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people like me!
Calm down Daniel Johnston.
Hi, how are you?
I'm doing ok. Had a heart cath on Monday, but recovering nicely. How about you?
Had my heart cath last September. Got the stints.
Doctor said no sex during recovery. He said that in front of my wife. Damn she is strict. Ten days later....party!
.) As close as I could get to an eyeball.
Hey...I wish I could draw a Daniel Johnston frog mural here.
I don't get it. Who is that?
Hey man, I had no idea you were having your ticker worked on. Hope everything is well.
Wikipedia is great. I now know who Daniel Johsnston is. I think BJ complemented me and insulted me in the same comparison. Nice.
Thanks. Everything went well. Medication, Diet, Exercise. No Stints. I owe it all to the Robert Tilton prayer cloth I received years ago. I knew it would come in handy some day. "Make me a cake"
ah yes, humble like Dougie.
:)
Repressive religious people around the world could really find a common cause in controlling women. It could be a type of inter-faith dialogue amongst bearded zealots everywhere.
For those interested in joining the woman-control dialogue, check out this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vuo-WOGxBQg&feature=related
I volunteer to give her a good whuppin'. 'Course then, she won't be able to keep her hands off'n me.
carrie from what i've read here, i see a great woman with faith.. having gone to school in the south and having lived around the world, now in canada, i understand some of what you're expressing.. and it's impressive how you don't just form to what others around you think is right.. you have your own faith, and understand what life is, a mission to find what life is, and keep getting it more, jesus talks about this, so it sounds like you really want him and someone that will be likeminded and driven to that.. most guys are lame.. most people are superficial and don't desire anything else other than this life.. the life as the world sees it is so unappealing to me.. and every girl i meet doesnt have the strong spirit i know i need in a woman, and we're supposed to live internal and that shows external fruit and beauty.. not the other way around.. stay you.. it is about being fulfilled, but only god can do that, so it might never come in this life, look at solomon.. i gotta find someone i'm physically and spiritually attracted to, and will never settle for less, true love is only true when it's your driving force and goal in mind, and only when you're looking at god and christ who is the source of it all, who show us more and more what it actually is.. so love keeps on going , wide deep long high... faith and consistency are hard things to find
Christians are freaks.
Hey, I'm really confused with this community. In the Bible, Paul praises singleness and says it is better to be single, because our focus can be fully on God and not partially on pleasing a wife or husband as well. He says it's a gift to be single. So how can a community judge a girl who simply seems to be blessed by God to be able to serve and focus on Him?
This post is hilarious! An entire town dedicated to getting a girl married off! Oh- no! she is 22 and if she can't find someone one soon she'll end up being an old maid! That is so 19th century it is ridiculous! I went to Bob Jones University in Greenville SC and they were the same way. I didn't know that an entire town would be like that! I guess these people would really have some things to say about me then. I'm a 43 year old Christian man who has never been married and whom seldom dates. I haven't met anyone that I really feel comfortable dating long term let alone getting married to! I have plenty of things to keep me busy to be sitting at home worried that I don't have a date or a wife! Considering some of the women I've met I'd just assume stay single. I also have so many friends and relatives that can't get along and are now divorced. One of my brothers best friends wives was fooling around on him before and during their marriage and told him last week she didn't love him and didn't even like him anymore and wants a divorce. He was heart broken. It was has first marriage- she had been married before. I could go on with the estranged relationships. These are church people and friends and relatives I'm talking about- not club people.
I do hope that when Carrie is ready to get married she will look for a christian mate. I think if she isn't interested in marriage right now that is her business and she has plenty of time to be worried about getting married. Putting social pressure on young people to hurry and get married is not right. Her Christian friends, relatives, and church family should be supportive and not pressure her.
It is hard to find the right person to date and marry so it is best to take your time.
Carrie will probably be a young lady who will not be interested in marriage until her thirties when the ole biological clock starts to tick. I saw that a lot when I was living in Charlotte North Carolina. The 30 something women were going nuts looking for a guy to get married to so they could satisfy the mother instinct. It actually repulsed me. Too many come on strong and even pursued guys and ran off a bunch of guys in the single group at the church I went to. Nobody likes a desperate pushy woman. I hope Carrie won't be like that.
i'm 6'10 and ready to get dating again.i use to play baseball and basketball.i'll take girls from 5'11 to 6'9
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