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DISCUSSHow to De-Program a Gen Y'er
01/30/2008By Howard Bowman • Illustration by Andres Alvez
In response to surveys showing a lack of conversational skills stemming from an over-reliance on video games, text messaging and TiVo, a number of American mainline churches have begun to offer classes in fellowship and social conversation with Generation Y’ers.
“We feel this is meeting a real need in our congregations,” said Jerod P. Ainsworth, youth director at Loma Linda Presbyterian Church (LLPC), a leader in what some observers have called the “small-talk education movement.”
“This is causing a real rift in congregations that is breaking fellowship between the generations,” Ainsworth said.
The classes offered at LLPC include “Me and My Friends Alone: Clique Talk in the Foyer,” “Endless Conversations about One’s Children,” “Endless Conversations About One’s Grandchildren,” and “Biblical-Seeming Gossip.”
“These young people seem so immersed in their own world, they just cannot seem to share in this centuries-old tradition,” said Forbes McGintley, head of a commission designated by mainline churches to study the problem.
Suggestions offered by the authors break the problem into four distinct areas of instruction for the parents of Gen Y’ers:
1. How to talk about one’s children and family (and others’ families exactly like it) to the exclusion of all other topics.
2. How to network and bring up one’s job and/or profession in subtle yet profitable ways.
3. Exclusive vacation spots, including activities like skiing, para-sailing, kayaking, bicycling, and (of course) golf.
4. Talk about God-given possessions like cars, jet skis, pools and spas and “most importantly, improvements on the house.”
The group also considered, but tabled for future consideration, topics that would appeal to, in its words, “older demographics”—such as:
1. How to make small but effective gossipy criticisms of the pastor, beginning with “I think he gives the best sermons but there is one area where he might…”
2. “Oh my dear, I love you as a Christian, which is why I must mention ....” and
3. “Bless his (her) heart, but he (she) has such an unusual ....”
The classes will be offered in the typical between-service Sunday School time slot, but will, according to their syllabus, “be unique in that this kind of fellowship conversation never mentions God, and is ‘all about me.’”
“One of the reasons the new generations aren’t going to church is they don’t know how to Talk the Talk, much less Walk the Walk,” McGintley said. “It’s our job to initiate them into the divine mysteries of meaningless, self-serving chit-chat.”
"the divine mysteries of meaningless, self-serving chit-chat." Sounds like the next best seller
you think oprah's book club would pick it up?
There has to be a class on Church Buzz Words. You can't be a Christian if you don't sound like one. We all know the number of buzz words you can use in a sentence is an indicator of your level of holiness. Words like: blessed, fellowship, annointed, sister, brother, unspoken prayer request (you have to spread the word ahead of time so everyone knows who your talking about), spirit filled, thee, thou. Effective church talk can cover up a multitude of sins. Warning: You may be a religious redneck if you end every sentence with the word hallelujah. So, don't over do it. Church folk can spot a fake religious fake a mile away.
The problem with the words you mention is that there is a chance they will be understood by those outside the church. Much more obscure terminology is necessary. Washed in the blood, Escathology, Fornication, Incarnation, etc. are all much more likely to confuse the average non-churchgoer and show them how much holier you are than them. If you can't remember any of these words, simply start a discussion on the difference between redemption and justification - this is guarenteed to show any listeners what a wonderful Christian you are.
You pop caught you smoking - and he said, "No way!"
That hypocrite - smokes two packs a day!
-- Beastie Boys
If you have nothing to offer, of course the kids won't be listening. Christianity is a dead faith -- it offers them nothing in the here and now, and a bounced check in the hereafter.
Us heathen can spot a religious fake a time zone away. Ole and the guys are about the only people I know personally who make an effort to walk their talk. Christians are for the most part pathological, and kids get it real quickly.
My favorite illustration of this is in the genius of Rev. Jim Huber (http://www.jhuger.com/kisshank.php), who invites you all to kiss Hank's (not Hanegraaft's) arse. Why should we kiss Jesus' arse, and not Hank's? I've yet to have a Christian give me a good answer.
Copeland, Hinn, Crouch, et al., ad nauseum, have figured it out, and so have the kids. It's all a scam.
Keep up the good work, Ole. I see you have your own mission field close at hand.
the title of this article immediately struck me as the wrong approach. our youth need not be "de-programmed". We "old" thirtysomethings need to study their language and customs. They are native to this digital age and have the entire world of information at their fingertips (literally). e.g. bouldergeists skillful inclusion of music lyrics, web sites and complete authenticity, I might add. bravo!
can't say as I know all or resonate with any of the religious folk referenced - except that Jesus character. It's impossible to ignore his words. We all have our opinions of truth. I choose to hedge my bets on the words that came from Jesus.
Peace, out.
Don't forget, we must teach Gen-Yers to discern prophetic jabberwocky: It is is Extremely Dangerous! – Watch out for the following nebulous terms: Life changing – a shift in the atmosphere – invade systems – tip the balance – head not the tail – taking territory – template for warfare – mobilize the generation – pierce the heavenlies – a vision kind of experience – transformation issue – accelerating legitimacy – outpouring harvest – new levels –dread champion warriors – apostles of the new age – birthing anything – radical anything – extreme anything – extreme prophetic Sunday School -- etcetera.
WWJD, WTF, LOL.
JS&ME BFF
fu
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