Fairway to Heaven

05/15/2008


By Christopher Coffman

Buy a Golfer's Bible and get three top quality Christian Evangaballs absolutely free!

The Golfer’s Bible

Edited by Rod Parsley

It’s just too easy these days to forget how many golf references are woven into the narrative of scripture. You can almost drive right past them if you’re not looking.

Thankfully, renowned televangelist Rod Parsley has handed the Christian community a hole-in-one with his new Golfer's Bible. Rod's new take on scripture has helped many believers put a little purpose back into their putters.

fairway

Nothing will help you tee off with confidence more than Pastor Parsley's commentary on apocalyptic literature.

Have you ever counted how many times the word "fore" appears in the Bible? After reading this Parsley translation for a few weeks, you’ll marvel when you run into verses like this:

"ThereFORE the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels." (1 Corinthians 11:10)

Verses like this help us understand the Great Commission in light of the greatest game ever played in polyester jumpsuits. Why "run the race" when you can "walk the course"?

Only $39.99 per copy!



Evangaballs

From Rod Parsley Productions, Inc.

Why wrestle with "double-bogey-boredom" in your morning devotions when you can sink an "eagle" every day?

fairwayball

Have you ever dreamed of taking the gospel out of the "clubhouse" and onto the "tee-box"? Aren’t you tired of having your prayer life in the rough? What if there was a practical way to bring a little salvation to someone caught in the sand trap of life?

Look no further than your local Christian pro shop. For a limited time, each bunker-busting Golfer's Bible purchased comes with a sleeve of three top quality Christian Evangaballs!

Evangaballs help golfers bridge the gap between the purpose-driven life and the putting green.

Each ball is neatly inscribed with a relevant passage of scripture from the New Testament (Torah Tees must be purchased separately at this time from RodandStaff.com).

Handcrafted underwater, with patented state of the art "Wheel Inside a Wheel" technology, Evangaballs are guaranteed to out-proselytize any ball on the market.

Imagine walking into a bunker and finding a ball with this message from Matthew 18:14…

"… your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost. "

Think of it … every time you lose a ball, you help save a weary soul in the Master's Tournament.

A sloppy swing or two may even send a message of grace soaring into someone’s swimming pool.

What are you waiting for? GO FORE GOD!

Only $45.99 for a box of three


Comments(136)

ny guy | 02:54 am on 5/16/2008

I love Golf, but this is just stupid.

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Ubuntu News | 06:34 pm on 2/01/2011

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verizon iphone 4 cases | 12:49 am on 2/02/2011

I agree with you. He is the man. :)

Raj Gupta | 10:44 am on 2/15/2011

I don't it is very easy to go to heaven.

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I agree with this. Looks like it will be a good read.

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Anonymous | 11:20 am on 2/23/2011

why it is stupid?

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Michael Liggan | 06:08 am on 5/03/2011

Sounds to me like a good idea.

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why u said that?

Anonymous | 07:11 am on 5/16/2008

Is this satire?

Anonymous | 09:47 am on 6/20/2008

Satire? I think not! I used Jesus' balls and got a hole in one off the third tee at Walking Stick in Pueblo, Colorado! Praise Jesus!

that calvinist doug | 07:37 am on 5/16/2008

If I buy the balls AND the bible, will I stop cussing every time I yank one in the woods? (my golf ball that is-I can sense a really inappropriate BJ reply to that last phrase)

SRebbe | 03:22 pm on 5/16/2008

gives 'taking a walk in the woods' a whole new meaning, huh?

how do you yank a golf ball? I thought it would be the shaft...

that calvinist doug | 03:55 pm on 5/16/2008

If you're skilled at all, your mistake will be a "slice" or a "hook" into the woods. When you're really lame like me, you're mistakes go really deep into the woods.

You could yank the shaft, but perhaps only in this instance, it would be less satisfying.

BJ | 12:11 pm on 5/17/2008

You guys are dirty.

SRebbe | 02:46 pm on 5/20/2008

I had to get at it before you could. ;)

BJ | 12:38 pm on 5/17/2008

Usually when I yank one in the woods it's because there is to much flex in my shaft. It's much easier to stroke the balls when you use a stiff shaft. I think 2 Samuel 21:19 gives us some guidance here, "In another battle with the Philistines at Gob, Elhanan son of Jaare-Oregim the Bethlehemite killed Goliath the Gittite, who had a spear with a shaft like a weaver's rod." I've never thought about having a shaft like a weaver's rod, but it must be something we should all hope for. Thank goodness we have a Bible that will bring these things to our attention to improve our strokes.
Taking tension out of my grip usually helps with soreness later. I wonder what dimple pattern Rod has on his balls. Isn't it fitting that a guy named Rod is putting this out.
Remember: "in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your drives straight" Selah

Joe-Allen Doty, Tulsa, OK | 01:37 pm on 5/21/2008

If you were to actually get saved and filled with the powerful dynamic power of the Holy Spirit, you might stop cussing altogether.

My father never used "cuss" words again after he had that experience. His folks said that he could not say two words without one of them being a curse word.

that calvinist doug | 03:42 pm on 5/21/2008

Joe-Allen, I'm sorry, I know my mental capacity is equivalent to that of a over-ripe banana, but are joking with me or being serious?

BJ | 09:43 am on 5/22/2008

WTF

mensajes claro | 09:07 pm on 2/22/2011

Sounds so great what your father used said.

JoshH | 08:32 am on 5/16/2008

I wonder if anyone has the balls to pull off such a scam.

Discerner 24/7 | 05:11 am on 5/17/2008

Oh yes Parsley has the balls! Rod is worse than Copeland! I know this is satire but "Raging Rod" would have the nerve to do something like this. Parsley is the typical "WOFer" all hype and and no substance!

JoshH | 08:48 pm on 5/17/2008

Wait a minute...you just pointed out something significant here that I totally missed at first. These balls also come with a "Rod."

*Beavis and Butthead style laugh*

Discerner 24/7 | 05:06 am on 5/18/2008

Yeah Josh you really "hooked" into that one! Or is it "sliced?" Any way Rod is the perfect "bogey" man for this golf book!

budda | 09:52 am on 5/16/2008

There is in fact a Holman Christian Standard Translation Golfers Bible on Amazon. Available in British Open Tan (paperback). Not to be confused with The Golfers Bible by Frank Allen, sot of a golf for dummies type book.

Anonymous | 10:08 am on 5/16/2008

Well this one is a Dummies for Christian Golf type book.

Holy Hacker | 11:58 am on 5/16/2008

This one's guaranteed to be sub-par:

Deuteronomy 5:32

ny guy | 12:35 pm on 5/16/2008

Whether this is just satire or not those balls actually do exist. My friend was telling me about a few that he ran across in a Christian bookstore somewhere out West. I have also seen plenty of Golf daily devotional material at Barnes & Nobles so its not that far off.

SRebbe | 02:09 pm on 5/22/2008

deargodhelpusall, they do exist...

Anonymous | 01:34 pm on 5/16/2008

Will Rod Parsley bless my balls?

Discerner 24/7 | 05:13 am on 5/17/2008

Yes he will Anon, for a nominal fee (offering?) of course!

JoshH | 08:50 pm on 5/17/2008

Blessing balls for a fee; I wonder how high that fee is. I'm pretty sure most people can get a better deal on most street corners.

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