Diggin’ Up Mormons and Sendin’ ‘Em Home
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RSS ReaderParley Parker Pratt, the great great grandfather of Mitt Romney and quite a few others (since he had twelve wives), will be dug up from his grave in Alma, Arkansas, and moved to the Salt Lake City Cemetery where he will join his fellow original members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Pratt was murdered on a farm northeast of Van Buren, Arkansas 151 years ago by Hector McLean, who was legally married to Eleanor McLean, who had not bothered to get a divorce before she entered into a “celestial marriage” with Pratt.
McLean tracked Pratt down and sought relief in the courts of the Indian Territory, pressing criminal charges for alienation of affection, but the judge refused to hear that charge and ruled for the Mormon, acquitting him of a misdemeanor and setting him up for what Mormons still regard as a martyrdom. No word yet on where the 12 wives are resting and whether there’s room for them to be dug up and trucked out west as well. After all that Eleanor went through, you can’t just leave her a-moldering in Arkansas.
My friend and former Mormon Bob is not going to want to hear about this even though he's never been in Arkansas and (probably) had nothing to do with this.
My Grandmother always said, "Let sleeping dogs lie".
That's the problem. Look at what we've done with Bush and Cheney; all we've done is let those dogs lie.
Oops. Damn homonyms!
Son you don't have to go digging up dead polygamists.
We got bus loads of live ones here, and they are free for the taking.
Deacon Spears, Eldorado, Texas
I heard Discover HD (they're desperate for programming) is shooting a docudrama of this disinterment. In it, Romney will reprise Michael Jackson's role of the misleading boyfriend (no, this part is not the joke) in the "Thriller" video. All his dead relatives will rise up, they'll dance around, scare the girl...it's all good.
Fairly typical Mormon story, other than the digging up - worship of remains must be something new or revived, possibly tangent to baptism of the dead.
I live near the fountainhead of Mormonism and know many really excellent Mormons. It's a shame they haven't yet discovered Christianity in one of its many forms, but I suppose the assurance of becoming the God of One's Own Universe more than makes up for it. Poor Joseph Smith - it got really hard after folks began to believe it and ask for more. The production pressure must have been tremendous. "No Man Knows My History." Indeed!
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