God Deleted From Worship, Replaced With Ricky Ricardo

By Joe Bob Briggs | 01/15/2008


Professors at Dallas Theological Seminary published a position paper Tuesday eliminating the concept of “God” and/or “Lord” from Christian worship and replacing it with worship of the Bible only. The step had been anticipated for several years and was considered a formality within the actual “Bible only” movement, but there were a few theologians from an older generation who waxed nostalgic about the change.

“A lot of these young guys don’t go back this far,” said Willard “Flip” Rasmussen, head of the Department of Greek Hermeneutics and Computer Science, “but back in the late seventies, early eighties, I would frequently preach about God. I don’t mean the way we say it today—I mean, we’ll probably always say it—we would really talk about him like he was capitalized and everything. But around 1985 it all became Word of God, Truth of God, God’s Revelation—we pretty much narrowed it down to this little baby right here”—plunking a Scofield Reference Bible—“or, for your students, this monster over here”—picking up a Greek New Testament. “In some ways I miss those days. God was a rascal when we still had him around.”

The only churches to be immediately affected by the position paper are the evangelical “Bible churches,” most of them pastored by DTS graduates, but several other denominations are expected to follow suit, including the Southern Baptists, the Church of God, the other Church of God, the Church of God Universal, the Assembly of God, and the Church of God’s Assembly. Ironically, several denominations using “God” in their actual name have not worshipped the deity himself for at least twenty years, but so far none of them have suggested changing names to reflect the new reality.

“Sure, we could go Assembly of the Book or Church of the Word or something like that,” said Roger Flanders, official spokesperson for the Church of the Universal God of Gods in Dayton, Tennessee. “We’ve talked about it. We’ve had marketing meetings. But you can’t go against your brand. The logo is out there. People know what it means. Look at it this way. Frito-Lay hasn’t sold any Fritos for a long time now. It’s all Doritos, right? But would they change that Frito name? I don’t think so.”

Among other worshippers likely to welcome the change are the so-called megachurches, many of them named after the natural environment (Saddleback, Lakewood, etc.) in the manner of real estate subdivisions and pagan Canaanite cults. “To tell you the truth,” said Meg Strothers, leader of the women’s athletic leagues at Grove Mountain Cathedral in Glenwood Springs, Colorado, “I’ve never been that comfortable with the G-word. It’s not that we have anything against God, it’s just that you say that and everybody is like, ‘What the flip?’ Let’s be honest, it’s a vague concept. It confuses the children.”

Not all the reaction was positive. Some individual churches in parts of eastern North Dakota and rural Florida issued statements saying they were continuing to worship God, even at the expense of Biblical inerrancy, and that, if forced to choose between God and the Bible, they might be seeking affiliations with Nigerian archbishops. At Harvard Divinity School, there was a concern that the position paper didn’t go far enough. “We stopped teaching the worship of God in the 1950s,” said Dr. Hildegard Wittman-Brumley, “so in one sense this is a welcome development. However, to merely replace one form of dead Christendom with an equally senile brand of pentecostal literalism is, in our view, less than postmodern.”

Most of the denominations and churches involved will be working out the implications of the new policy at their various conventions and retreats throughout the year, but one source of possible sectarianism has already reared its ugly head: Which Bible is considered the Bible? At the press conference announcing the change, a DTS professor clumsily laid his King James on a chapel pew at the same moment that the seminary president was holding aloft a New International. In his haste not to cause offense, the professor grabbed for the text and knocked it onto the floor, which resulted in gasps from the audience and a later frenzied debate about whether the Bible now needs to be ritually burned. Meanwhile, in East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, a Bible-worshipper from the other side of the aisle, the Reverend William “Bill” McWilliam, publicly burned his New International on purpose as an act of protest while preaching from the Living Word Bible, resulting in a criminal citation from the fire marshall for lighting fires in close proximity to sleeping people.

Ricky Ricardo

The only other issue that still needs to be worked out theologically is how to preach the literal truth of the one Bible without mentioning either God, Yahweh, Jehovah, the Lord, etc. “But actually, wasn’t that always the problem?” said Rasmussen. “Too many names, too many concepts. We’re just telescoping all that stuff into one term. We’re re-branding. If you have to talk about a higher power, you just say Ricky Ricardo. It’s consumer-friendly, everybody knows Ricky Ricardo, everybody likes Ricky Ricardo, and it’s still in syndication in most markets so it’s hip without being ridiculously up-to-date.”

One worry at this early stage is that stay-at-home believers who get most of their Bible study from television won’t fully understand the implications of worshipping the book itself instead of a universal force who either wrote the book or spoke it into existence or otherwise caused its appearance. “That’s the same thing, though,,” said Paul Crouch of the Trinity Broadcasting Network when asked about it, “because the Bible is magic. It’s a magic book. The only difference now is we’re not making a big deal about where the magic came from. We’ve got research on this.”

That research, according to Barna Associates, was carried out in focus groups with Christians who had donated at least $10,000 to evangelists in a single fiscal year. Without being told the nature of the experiment, these donors were placed in a temperature-controlled room and shown three altars. On the first altar were various images of God, including a reproduction of the Sistine Chapel ceiling, George Burns in character, and a multi-media collage from a Soho gallery representing the creative spark. When these objects were hacked to smithereens with a four-foot pickax, there were expressions of only mild disapproval from the focus group.

On the second altar, researchers placed various Bibles, from plain miniature New Testaments to ornate hand-lettered Latin editions from the Middle Ages. When the Bibles were first ripped into pieces, then burned, there were cries of protest, wailing, tears, and loud accusations of blasphemy that only be quelled after several minutes. According to data analysts, the Bible burning registered a 64 on the destruction-of-cherished-belief-systems scale, compared to only an 8 for the God-demolishing.

As a control experiment, and mainly at the request of Benny Hinn Ministries, which financed most of the research, a third altar was decked out with various western currencies, including the dollar, the Euro, the pound sterling, and the Swiss franc. At a pre-determined signal, about $100,000 in bank notes were doused with kerosene and ignited, causing panic, hysteria, screams of agony, and a mad rush as several people tried to put out the fire with their own bodies. Barna reported a 98 on the belief-system scale and most of the focus group required subsequent counseling. All of the television ministries pronounced themselves pleased with the results, indicating that you could eliminate one focus of the Bible, but as long as you kept the other one in sharp relief, there was no danger of losing the attention of the main body of believers.


Comments(50)

Randy Myers | 12:36 pm on 1/16/2008

Well done!

MichaelRay | 12:58 pm on 1/16/2008

Brilliant! And frustratingly true.

PMS | 01:07 pm on 1/16/2008

I had to check the byline and make sure it didn't say Jeffery Weiss.

David | 01:33 pm on 1/16/2008

How dare you write such trash!?

If you keep doing things like this, I'm going to have no choice but to renew my subscription to the Door and read more of your stuff.

Seriously, you put your finger on an issue that has bothered me for some time. Glad to have someone join the rest of us.

David | 01:41 pm on 1/16/2008

How dare you write such trash!?

If you keep doing things like this, I'm going to have no choice but to renew my subscription to the Door and read more of your stuff.

Seriously, you put your finger on an issue that has bothered me for some time. Glad to have someone join the rest of us.

The _Dudester | 01:51 pm on 1/16/2008

God is a messy concept! We would have to investigate the subjection of faith & reason to minds in Babylonian Captivity raising culture above God. Plus, the assumption that certain theologies as a priori to reading the Bible, like John Calvin and the Scofield Bible notes to name a few.
However, God is used to being made second fiddle, third fiddle, .... The Hebrews did it with wanting a King. Next they needed the Midrash to protect and elaborate the Law, then another layer of oral tradition to protect the previous layer. True to any bureaucratic institutions the outer layers became sacrosanct. The catholic church followed suit, just like any self respecting 'bureaucratic institution occasionally trying to reform its self', Jeffrey Burton Russell's "Prophecy and Order".
Now (actually for decades or longer) we have people reading and believing the Scofield Bible notes as inspired words of God, when they are only inspired by heretical theological minds seeking to minimize and control God to conform to their narrow mindsets. Of course there is the great theological mind of of John Calvin who brought so much we can be happy to have today.
The behavior of the five point Calvinist coupled with the 30 year obscene behavior of the theological right in the SBC has rendered their best seminary, Southern on the scrap heap of history. It is no longer rated as one of the best in the USA that taught pastors to think and be prepared. It has become for many years another center teaching five point Calvinism as the norm and rejecting the idea women can be pastors. And of course if women can't be pastors, then logically they can't teach men to be good pastors from a cock-eyed flawed perspective. Didn't each one of these men have a Mother? So SBC seminaries have become bastions of misogyny.
Why is it we decry journalist and political pundits for predicting the outcome of political races and political infighting to political maneuvering, but we do not call theologians, pastors, and laypersons for predicting the eschaton. Isn't this another attempt to control God and the people who believe differently. Ironically, it is done by people who swear they worship & love God's Word, but in true John Calvin style they will persecute all those who stand in their way so they can shape God in their own image.

Doug | 02:30 pm on 1/17/2008

Dude(ster),

For crying out loud, I think you're going to start bombing reformed churches pretty soon! Can you ever write anything that doesn't include some protracted rant about Calvin?! Get off me, get off Calvin, and go persecute some Unitarians or something.

Newsflash! I personally know MANY reformed Calvinisitc types who show so much more the character of Christ than your rants ever do that I'm only contrained to think the emperor has no clothes.

some other doug | 09:02 am on 1/18/2008

If Calvin is in danger, what would Hobbes do?

The Dudester | 04:04 am on 1/25/2008

Doug,
I would like to discuss, but I see you have to marginalize me. Bombing churches? Rant? Get off me, get off Calvin? Are you two one and the same? Do you feel persecuted? A lukewarm critique of what Calvinism leads to in late twentieth century and you feel persecuted? I don't get the connection.

Your next remark sounds like the proverbial white guy who says, many of my best friends are black. So you compare from a few paragraphs by me, a person you do not know personally, to people you say you know personally. You did that with a straight face .... no contortions. Amazing!

How did you know my best friend is a Unitarian? Are you psychic or what? His church had an art fair and I helped them clean up afterwards. No grenades, no sly remarks about Unitarians never being able to make a decision, met some very nice people, but that doesn't mean I would worship there. I accept him where he is, not where I expect or want him to be.

If we (Christians) do not renounce those actions and thought systems taken in Christ's name in the past and present that are counter to the Gospel, we will be deceived continually in believing those paradigms are valid for future solutions.

If one thinks about killing someone, then isn't that person guilty of murder? (in the spiritual sense not under U.S. law) Along the same line, if someone thinks about hitting someone else, then isn't the person acting contrary to the law of love and lying when professing their love of God? Christ was getting at our heart not just our minds. A formalistic view of the Gospel asks the question again and again about the means justifying the end? Calvin answered with a teleological assertion the ends justify the means. Ultimately Calvin was seeking control to affect thought and behavior, not the law of love to motivate inward and outward change.

Doug, Calvin can be seen several ways. As a historical figure he is or like a allegorical figure much like in John Bunyan's great work, Pilgrim's Progress, representing people who seek the same qualities and do the same types of behavior. However, Calvin can never be confused with Calvin and Hobbes fame, because if past was prologue, then Calvin would have had a psychotic meltdown.

So if what I said about the behavior, results, and implications concerning the SBC and what happened to the Seminaries makes you feel persecuted or upset, then I guess that is your stuff. A Twelve Step Program for Calvinists would be a good character building and theological formation exercise for people, like the one for Fundamentalists.

That Calvinist Doug | 09:27 am on 1/25/2008

First: my replies to you have been partially in the spirit of this website; spiced with a heavy dose of sarcasm. If you feel that I'm "marginalizing" you, for that I'm apologize.

Second: they've also been in response to what I feel is a wrong-headed interpretation of Calvin. Obviously, you have very strong (negative) opinions of his theology. What may not be as obvious is that I likewise have some pretty negative (perhaps also wrong-headed in your view) opinions of Arminianism. The difference is that I don't see the need to pounce on this theology at every chance I get, especially when the context of the article in question do not warrant it. In my view, you do that often in regard to Calvin.

The point is simply this; I can point to what I view as the flaws in Arminian theology and cite examples of not only how it doesn't jibe with scripture, but also how I believe it leads many a soul down a road of spurious, emotional, yet ultimately vapid, "conversion" experiences. Can somebody go down front already before we have to sing another verse of "Just as I am", I want to go watch the game?!

Ultimately, these are intramural debates; they are not "salvation" issues, and therefore, don't warrant Christians tearing each other apart over them.

To your question of whether or not we're allowed to question how some may use, or better put, mis-use, theology; of course, we are. But I could point out the dispensationalist, Arminian folks that in my view have perverted and smeared the gospel (Bob Jones, Tim LaHaye, and that ilk) but I don't. You, on the other hand, take every opportune and inopportune moment to do said.

The Dudester | 02:52 pm on 1/26/2008

I am fairly certain this is not a dualist world where the choice is Arminianism or Calvinism. It seems the history of theology is all about intramural debates. The question goes to the values and implications. You named two that missed the point. Since most people do not know history or geography, they continually make poor choices. These two are not the only reasons poor choices are made, but right up there with illiteracy and innumeracy.

I am not interested in stretching out my suspenders with my thumbs saying things about my self.

Another problem with "salvation issues" goes back to theology. Once people are 'saved' and churched then what happens? The idea of sanctification has churches going off in all kinds of screwy directions - not supporting issues that reflect the ethics of the Kingdom of God. This has been one of the themes of this magazine going way back.

Another has been the unethical manner of reaching out to the unchurched or stealing members from other churches. It seems to me churches in general are stuck in first or second gear. I have felt the Church of the Saviour in Washington DC to be an excellent model.

I will say after re-reading the article I reacted viscerally and veered off message. I apologize to all who have read the post, for it not applying to the article.

That calvinist Doug | 02:49 pm on 1/28/2008

I'll make you a deal. I'll check out that church, and you check out Redeemer Presbyterian in New York City, pastored by Tim Keller. BTW, that's not my church, I'm hundreds of miles away. But it is a good example of an unapologetically reformed church bringing NEW believers into the kingdom in NEW YORK CITY (for crying out loud).

that calvinist Doug | 02:53 pm on 1/28/2008

I guess the address would be good. I'm no good at technology, so forget me linking it for you! Go to www.redeemer.com

Bill | 02:13 pm on 1/16/2008

Since this is satire im sure none of this is true.

azusa755@sbcglobal.net

prophet dopi | 02:40 pm on 1/16/2008

Satire or not, the god's of the church in the good old usa are,
Self (religion of man) and $Money$ (the fruit of man) . We worship big buildings, big numbers and bigger bunglers that boast. But Father will have HIS way. So don't be dismayed by the demons of deception that direct the dumb and numb to nothing but the neverland of nothingness.

doug | 02:47 pm on 1/16/2008

It has bothered me for a long time that we put the bible on such a pedestal that it seems to become more important than God himself at times...

David Williams | 03:04 pm on 1/16/2008

Yup. That just about says it. Viva la neoreformacion!

http://neoreformationist.blogspot.com

JOHN PERKINS | 03:08 pm on 1/16/2008

JB, THAT WAS ANOTHER GREAT ARTICLE !!! KEEP LISTENING TO YOUR HEART MAN !

Loren Bell | 04:33 pm on 1/16/2008

The Dripping Satire is true on too many levels. Yet we must be careful not to "throw the baby out with the bath water". The Word is GOD'S Word and the main source of our knowledge of God. In that it is to be revered but not worshipped.

Mark Goodyear | 04:41 pm on 1/16/2008

This hit home. I grew up in the Church of Christ--and we didn't even hide our Bible worship. In fact, I remember in college the first time I learned about the Holy Spirit being part of the Trinity. No kidding.

Growing up, I learned about the Trinity one Wednesday night. "It's the three parts of God," a bible teacher explained. "It's not hard to understand. Just think of an apple." The skin was Jesus. The core was the Father. And the meat, of course, was the Bible.

Alas, I wish that memory were a satire.

that other Doug | 09:06 am on 1/18/2008

Much closer than the superTrinitarian Adventist opinion that God is a committee that usually agrees with itself. This was of course formulated by people that sit on a lot of committees. I find that God is like my computer. He has at least 3 of: a keyboard, a scanner, a display, a printer, a mainframe, a UPS, etc. Just because He reveals himself in 3 ways doesn't make that His totality.

Michael Camp | 04:48 pm on 1/16/2008

Sadly, Bible worship is alive and well in Christendom. By worshiping the Bible, people actually abuse it. They regularly abuse it by attributing to the English words we read, concepts and laws that were not in the original author's or reader's minds. Without putting those words we read in the light of original language, culture, history, and literary context, many false teachings can arise. A Bible worshiper, when confronted with faulty interpretation, will honor the literal reading of the words over and above the God who inspired those words in a particular culture and point of history for a particular purpose.

But I like your way of exposing the problem better than my scholarly rant.

Anonymous | 09:08 am on 1/18/2008

Anything to get our eyes off our Salvation. Some will tell us to look up at Mary and deify her. Others will deify the book that tells you about Him. But theyu say don't look at Jesus, because you might be saved!

kingneb | 05:14 pm on 1/16/2008

This all sounds like a bunch of anti-intellectualism to me. Perhaps that's why you "reported" this way...I've never seen anyone bow down to a book.

Anonymous | 09:09 am on 1/18/2008

I have. It's by Darwin, but inspired by Huxley.

Anonymous | 06:29 pm on 1/16/2008

You are a talented writer and thinker. Thank you.

This is a needed change. "God" is harder to hit people with and harder to slam down onto a lectern for noise making that inspires divisiveness and pseudo-faith.

Anonymous | 07:04 pm on 1/16/2008

I had once had an adult member of a Bible church ask me why the Word in John 1 is not to be worshipped along with the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. She was quite surprised to learn that the Word mentioned there was NOT the Bible. I also had an acquaintance repeatedly tell me that his greatest source of comfort in the loss of his son was not God but The Word!

The Enemy Below | 08:12 pm on 1/16/2008

And Your Point Is??

Anonymous | 08:24 pm on 1/16/2008

This is a long reply, but necessary.

I was shocked and saddened to read how much humanity has slipped away from understanding the real truths in the Holy Word of God.

THE BIBLE

What is being done by many churches and religions is actually APOSTASY, the Bible is very open about it, "in the last days" etc etc. If you want to know what will be the outcome of this system being setup worldwide, then take a look at Daniel and Revelation.
Now, if you have managed to read this far, take a look at the web site "screems of hell" or do a google for it, this might alter your view of your present life style.

The Bible says "make up your salvation with fear and trembling".

It's time for all those people who have not bowed the knee to apostasy being preached from in their church, to leave their churches, God says to "come out from them so you do not be partakers of their sins".

Get back to worshiping GOD, calling on the Holy Spirit, seeking the forgivenous of GOD, having your sins forgiven and washed away in the precious BLOOD of the Lamb of God.

Why are you on the earth?
To do as you like? maybe
To work? maybe
To have a family? maybe
To have wealth? maybe

The reason you are on this earth is to make up your mind which direction you will be spending E T U R N I T Y.

When you die, its only your physical body that dies, not your spirit, the thinking part of you, that is designed to live forever and ever and ever.

At the moment you die, your spirit will inherit an immortal body.
At that moment of time, your fate is sealed forever and ever and ever and ever...................

So all those churches going apostate are taking millions of unsuspecting people to hell, so come out from them.
TURN TO JESUS AND GET SAVED.

How big is your spirit inside your head? or how big are you?

With your finger, tap the left side of your face, the thinking part of you was to the right of your finger.
Tap the right side of your head, the thinking part of you is to the left of your finger. (getting smaller ehhh).
Tap the top of your head, now you are under your finger.
Tap under your chin, you are above your finger.
Tap the back of your head, you are in front of your finger.
Lastly, tap the forhead, you are behind the forehead.

So just how big are you? you are a spirit, small arn't you, this is the "you" that is "you". Gess what, this is the part of you which is going to spend eturnity for ever and ever, where? well, now thats up to you. God has given you a free reign to do what you think you want to do, but at the moment of death it is toooo late, no going back.

So all those people involved in Church Apostasy, Immorality, crime, get out of it, repent from your sins and get saved.
Read the Holy Bible, ask the Holy Spirit to REVEAL it to you.

The time of the Gentiles is almost ended, there is only a few years left at the most, every country in the world has now heard the message of Jesus. The Bible says the return of Jesus is soon.
Who are the Gentiles, everyone except the Jewish nation.

Anonymous | 09:13 am on 1/18/2008

Not only is there something that calls itsself "Screems from Hell",
but there's a YouTube parody calling itsself "Screems form Hell".
Now, that I can believe.

Al Speegle | 11:07 pm on 1/16/2008

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How did these people do it? It’s soooo easy and simple! It’s all done with money sent to them because of gullible people that will believe anything once convinced they’re supporting the Lord’s work!
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cowpie dodger in Asia | 12:52 am on 1/17/2008

I am seriously disappointed you didn't bring up the issue of the KJV being the only Bible Jesus used as some still think. I was at a large convention a few years ago and someone brought this up --no kidding! I wanted to go choke the guy in the love Jesus. Thanks for the great satire it keeps me laughing, though I live 10,000 miles away.

Josh | 02:09 am on 1/17/2008

Stupid Sexy Flanders! MMMMMMMH! Doritos!

Lucas | 01:51 pm on 1/17/2008

Well, the KJV does say it is The "Holy Bible"...

Doug | 02:40 pm on 1/17/2008

This could be dangerous, but here goes:

Anyone want to help me understand this? I get the point that we worship God. No need to help me here. But since the bible is the only accepted revelation we have from him (except when he appeared to me last night to tell me to lay off the stout before bed), are we not supposed to hold it in higher esteem than the teaching of any man/woman?

The true spirit of the reformers (lay off me Dudester!) was that we were to actually READ our bibles for ourselves and seek God's help to understand it. Somebody help me understand why this is to terrible.

Leslie Carbone | 07:33 pm on 1/17/2008

In a further improvement, we could put mirrors on the front covers of all Bibles (the way Time magazine did when it made You! its 2006 Person of the Year). This modification would serve as a reminder to keep the focus of worship where it belongs--on the Self.

Rodelyn | 12:17 pm on 1/19/2008

What an eye-opener for me when a Lutheran pastor pointed out the existence of idolotry of the Bible. "Yes, it is the word of God that cradles and points to the Word of God (Jesus) but do not mistake one for the other" (a hacked up quote from Luther)

slybreet | 03:24 pm on 1/20/2008

When I read this, I thought, well we might honour the bible, but we don't worship it, and then this morning we sang the song The Bible Stands, which while fun to play on the piano to a rock and roll beat, as I read along with the words...I realized that perhaps we do worship the Bible. When I came to the words, "The Bible stands, and it will forever," I thought, -and I might add for the first time-WHAT!!!? Forever? Really? Does that mean that instead of communing with God someday, we will still have to read the words in red letters
As much as I like reading the Bible, I was hoping that in eternity, I wouldn't have to read it. I would know it.
Oh well. too bad for those of us who don't have the KJV on them at the time of the rapture--as I assume that is what we all will be reading-in English of course.

Anonymous | 04:43 pm on 1/20/2008

It is a sad fact that people still believe in the bible, which is nothing more than myths, propaganda and out right lies. The "extreme" christians need to loosen up. I've been on archaeological digs and saw with my own eyes what bullshit the bible is. My basic belief is all religions are one religion, all sprouting from a single root a very long time ago.

T'cher | 04:21 am on 6/03/2008

It's so hard to tell if someone is being sarcastic or just plain ignorant of history and antagonistic.

Big D | 07:38 pm on 1/20/2008

To Doug:
You hate virtually everything written on this website. Always. It's like you have a personal vendetta, like you were a former member of Trinity or something.
Dude -- there are TONS of websites out there. Why don't you go vent on them?
You're like a broken record ...
Tell Wendy hi.

Doug (As in the Chosen Calvinist One) | 04:56 pm on 1/21/2008

Since I THINK you're writing about me (don't know 'cause I've seen several other "Doug's" posting); let me ask:

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

If you read the post on this particular article, I'm simply asking a question because I don't get the point. I'm just a dumb retard you know.

Secondly, if you are referring to me, who the hell if Wendy?

I'm going to keep posting just to piss you off. So there.

Big D | 06:55 pm on 1/23/2008

Actually, it IS the "other" Doug.
My bad.
Wendy is apparently doing well.

That Calvinist Doug | 08:58 am on 1/24/2008

That's good, 'cause after my post, I finally got the joke about Wendy. You must be even older than me to pull that one out of the hat. Besides, I'm sure you were predestined to flame me.

BJ | 11:36 am on 1/30/2008

Why not Ethel rather than Ricky Recardo?

Anonymous | 02:15 pm on 1/30/2008

The REALLY humorous part of this is that majority of the people who attend these churches do NOT crack open their Bibles** when they go to "bible" study.

They are too busy reading and studying "The Purpose Drivel Life" and "Become a Better Ewe" (OK, they're NOT actually reading them, they're listening to the audio taped versions and then gathering around the abbreviated "study guides" -- but same thing).

** Really interesting thing here is that since "bible" (aka "biblos") really just means book (or actually "collection of writings") they could modernize even further and call them "Book Churches" or "Audio-Tape & Study Guide Churches" -- though of course by the time we reach THAT point, the dominant language will probably no longer be English, so it can be "Iglesia De la Biblia" which sounds SOO much better.

Noel Cookman | 10:28 am on 2/01/2008

This is a fun article. But, without two basic statements/questions, it may be no more than sarcastic fun. The following issues were raised by attorney James Barron in Orlando several years ago and are still being posed.

#1 - There are 2 major covenants in this book [the Bible]; we're dead to one and alive to the other. Is it possible that we read this book without that understanding and are confused by it?
#2 - Did God intend for us to live as "people of a book" or "people of the Spirit?" (one can say "by the book" or "by the Spirit")

Issue #1 makes Reformed theology quite the "rub" today because mostly there is no distinguishing (in much of Reformed Theology) between the two covenants - at least as far as death and life.

I like issue #2 because it's practical and can be discussed outside of the academic-theological world.

delbard | 07:29 pm on 2/09/2008

AY-YI-YI

TheadevaB | 11:08 pm on 5/09/2008

If you didn't have to work so hard, you'd have more time to be depressed.

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http://ebloggy.com/bradfordbaldwinya

T'cher | 12:02 am on 6/03/2008

Ah, gee...what about Jesus? Can we use that name?

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